Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(1 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote

burgundy carpet
heads down
make-up runs
like wax from black candles

did you see the sunlight
coming in the window
when you said father?
did you see the sunlight
when you spoke of his hands?

turn on your bright lights
we centipede down the 11 A.M. highway
a black bird contrasts the blue sky
a smear of ink
a tattered rag
the last ash from a burning book

patchy grass waiting for spring
plastic flowers waiting for what?
to be thrown away

turn on your bright lights
I shall not want

I'm very ape and very nice

Related Items


The following comments are for "funeral"
by Joe Quinn

joe, i am awed by this piece. clean and sharp, your usual lack of bullshit. absolutely to the point and image-rich.

i just love the use of centipede as a verb. nicely done. and the sunlight, and the hands. paints a very clear picture, freezes in my mind.

one thing:

plastic flowers waiting for what?
to be thrown away

the question seems to weaken it somewhat. maybe

plastic flowers waiting
to be thrown away

great repetition of "turn on your bright lights", too. liking your style a lot. give us more!


( Posted by: ark [Member] On: March 24, 2004 )

psalm 23, pen
that's the second line of psalm 23; is this reference right, joe? the lord is my shepherd; i shall not want. biblical. often read at funerals.

( Posted by: ark [Member] On: March 25, 2004 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.