Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(2 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote

Why must I sit here and wonder?
Will I feel the rain or hear the thunder?
My eyes have been blinded by the sun above,
In my heart I know I will never feel love.
I will never feel a thing because my soul is cracked.
How could you do this to me,leaving my heart attacked.
This life is so hard, this life is so damaged.
But I guess it takes a real man to move on and manage.
The consequences of the mind must coincide with the body.
Just like sitting on your bed with a fully loaded shotty.
It must be easier now with the gun in my mouth,
One pull of the trigger and all the lights go out.
But that's not me, I don't overreact
Its just a relationship I gotta face the facts.
Many more will come, and many more will go.
Some will break my heart, and some won't do so.
But until I find me that very special one,
I'm gonna live my life and have me some fun!

Leton Hall

Related Items


The following comments are for "Life Goes On"
by LexiconDon

Scared Me
for a moment with the suicide slant but you threw a great curve and ended with a high note! Great rhyming pattern. Liked this one a lot.

( Posted by: amethyst [Member] On: March 11, 2004 )

This is a great poem. The first line grabbed my attention immediately and followed with a good display of using the weather to show the narrator's emotions. It is consistent in content, and you did a good job of taking the arch of the narrator's feelings as they get over a lost love. But the poem loses flow at the line "But I guess it takes......." The language changes and new tone and mood introduced too forcefully and perplexes the reader (well, me anyway). Also, the lines where the narrator talks of taking a gun and shooting themselves is good in itself. The words and syntax have a musical feel to them, but I do not think they mix with the rest of the poem (or at least not in the place that you put them).

( Posted by: Trunks [Member] On: March 18, 2004 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.