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early spring morning haze -
on the near white birch branch
one near black bird.

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The following comments are for "haiku"
by inmost

Inmost; nice haiku U have here. I tried to rate it, but something is wrong with the rate system on your post. Anyways, I wanted to give U a [10]. Enjoyed the read



( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: March 2, 2004 )

Thank you, Pen.

Thanks, Jeannie. Thanks for your kindly words and for your blessings

( Posted by: inmost [Member] On: March 3, 2004 )

I thought it was a beautiful haiku. Do some more!! :)

( Posted by: LexiconDon [Member] On: March 3, 2004 )

I think this and some other of your haikus alck action-something's happening or has happened:

"early spring morning haze -
on the near white birch branch [here an object might have done something intriguing]
one near black bird [action of resolution]"

( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: September 26, 2004 )

Teflon (how strange your id sound for me!), thanks for spending some times on my works. You are perfectly right in what you said about some of my haiku. Writing haiku it isn't easy at all. Sometimes my spirit is not so vivid as I wish to be. However I understand you enjoyed some of my lines and that's make me hope that I can improve my works. Or not?!

( Posted by: inmost [Member] On: September 26, 2004 )

Yes Inmost

I wish members would exchange more of technical critique of each other's works.
That's the feedback I provided so your work could be 100% impressive. Or shocking, why not?!

( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: September 26, 2004 )

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