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This is my first real try at writing a Haiku, so I'm not sure if I got the syllables right?

Mind-set to focus black
Sweaty hands curled in Everlast
No anger only adrenaline


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The following comments are for "Taped Knuckles"
by kimberly bird

not bad
I really liked this piece. It's short and to the point. However, your question about the syllables was valid. Usually, haiku is 5-7-5. I think this was good, though. Always glad to hear of another person converting to the dark side of the haiku.

( Posted by: the Co.konspirator [Member] On: March 5, 2004 )

Haiku On...
Find the last line intersting as for format just haiku on...

Well done Congrats Keep Haikuing...(SMILE)

( Posted by: rightingit [Member] On: March 5, 2004 )

Thank you for your comments Co.konspirator and Righting It. I enjoyed writing this, and I'm hoping this will keep my mind sharp. 5-7-5, got it.


( Posted by: kimberly bird [Member] On: March 5, 2004 )

Penelope, the Opal Tyger, thanks for your input. Everlast is the kind of glove I use when boxing and the leather bag is black, so I was trying to feel what I see when I start to focuse on hitting the bag. That form you used, is that another haiku style? I should maybe read up on the different styles if I'm going to try my hand at this.

Thanks again.


( Posted by: kimberly bird [Member] On: March 5, 2004 )


Nice Haiku. I loved the last line.




( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: March 5, 2004 )

thank you
Thank you Penelope for the correction. I will work on visualizing it better and the syllable count.

Jeannie45, It makes me feel good that you enjoyed my first real try at Haiku. You know what's funny, at the boxing club about 70% of the people that go there to work out are women ;)


( Posted by: kimberly bird [Member] On: March 5, 2004 )

You will be in for a shock if you do check there are some 20 so called techniques for haiku or so I read. I liked it keep up the good work.

( Posted by: chapter1 [Member] On: March 12, 2004 )

different forms
Thank you chapter. I'm going to try my hand at another one. I did read up on some of them, and thought to myself huh? If anything it will make me think and keep my mind going.


( Posted by: kimberly bird [Member] On: March 12, 2004 )

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