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Strange Awakening Part II

By, Skateboard

The Long ride was rugged. We must of been on the ride for hours. The van came to a sudden stop. I flew
forward like as missile, head first. The sharp pain felt like a fury of blades skinning my back except inside my head.
The van doors swung open and 2 men dressed in black tuxedoes grabbed me by the arms. Their strength stunning
me. I could see light now. The skyís color had change drastically. It was clear I was coming up to a warehouse.
Inside it was Warm. warm like a furnace or some sort of heater. Sweat dripped from my hair and forehead. I usually
donít sweat but everyone must sweat in here. They carried me deeper into the warehouse as it got darker and colder.
eventually ice was on the walls. I felt more relived because of how hot it was earlier. I couldnít figure out what was
going on. The 2 men finally raised me high over a pit, my legs dangled helplessly over the hole. I was dropped down
to the pit and I fell. I must of sprung my ankle because I couldnít move. The room was blank; White walls white
floor. A huge goblin appeared.. Itís knife caught my attention because of its gleam. The goblins eyes traded
mischievous glances with me. I was frozen in astrophobe. I couldnít move. My hair stood on ends. The end was near,
Very near. He moved faster than lgihtening, faster than anything in the world. I pondered the meaning of this... none
of my thoughts could have been right. Black, Black was the color of my fear. Fear that never ended. I gell and
screamed. I screamed louder than ever. The goblin neared me. itís blade tor into my flesh, gore everywhere. wave of
blood filled my vision and that was the last thing i saw, Red. It over, over...

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The following comments are for "Strange Awakening II"
by skateboard

re: Strange Awakening Part II
Skateboard, your getting off on the right foot here. First off, the postive. You've constructed a pretty good tale. It's interesting and keeps to the point. I want to read more! And that's The point.

Your formatting is a little off. That's common with new posters. You obviously didn't let the sytem word wrap and instead used hard returns. Don't use hard returns except for paragraphs. Also, your story was a little blunt. Short sentences that seemed a little forced at times. Try elaborating a little more, fill out the scene. Otherwise, your off to a great start. Keep posting!

Chrispian H. Burks
Creator / Editor

( Posted by: Chrispian [Admin] On: December 27, 2001 )

sorry, i wrote this at school on the computers there and i must of done something messed up to make the story look so spaced lol sorry...

( Posted by: skateboard [Member] On: January 14, 2002 )

re: kkkk
No problem man! Just hurry and post some more writing, we are fiends and need more to read.


( Posted by: Chrispian [Admin] On: January 14, 2002 )

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