Noor Ashikin Binti Abd Nasir
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The sun shone very brightly. It was a warm and pleasant day as I was walking alone along the beach, seeking piece of mind. Painful memories that happened two years ago went through my head. I remembered how I worried my mum for almost a month also did not go to work. I was very thankful to God at that time, as he gave me a very understanding employer. My eyes were swollen and unhealthy due to non-stop crying. I was so depressed at what had happened.
I did not expect Ray to break off our engagement and end up our relationship that we have built for almost 5 years in just 5 minutes of conversation. Worst, it happened just two days before our wedding. What hurt me most were that all the preparations for the big day was almost done. Hundreds of invitation cards had been sent, the tent for the guests had been set up and my wedding dresses were ready to be worn. My mum seemed ready to accept her first son-in-law, as I was her first child. I also recalled seeing her busy talking and telling everyone how content and glad she was to marry off her first child. I was also very delighted to see her busy rushing there, rushing here preparing for the big day. But now, she was wordless and quiet. I felt very sorry for her and sad to see her behaving such a way. Although she kept telling me that I was not the one to be blamed, I still felt very guilty as if I had humiliated her.
Day passed by. Now, I could already accept the fact that we were not meant to be together, Ray and me. It was not my destiny after all. My eyes then fell on a couple of teenagers whom I assumed were very happy. They were laughing and joking all the way. I smiled.
“How nice if only that laughter and happiness would last forever”, I sighed and sat on a huge rock and looked far towards the deep wide crystal clear sea in front of me.
Abruptly, the name, Neo came in my mind. This guy, nicknamed Neo, whom I encountered in one of the chat room when I was just killing time chatting through the Internet, took most of my time and attention. I was no longer thinking of my past.
At first, I thought he was just a typical chatter who likes to make up stories in the cyber world. I treated him fairly like I did to others. But later he appeared to be someone interesting and different from others. More, we kept bumping into each other frequently. Whenever I went online, he would also be there. Slowly, I began to trust him. Both of us shared and exchanged stories without wanting to meet in the real world. In fact, none of us brought up the matter. He also played a role as a good counselor, advising me in every way he could, guided me through my daily life. I was beginning to depend on him to make decisions. It was kind of a funny thing as I started to feel I was falling for him, a guy that I did not even know how he looked like. Our relationship went on for almost two years now, but it was only limited in the Internet. Looking at my watch, I decided to go home, as it was already late.
When I stepped into my house, I saw my mum waiting for me in the living room. She said she wanted to talk with me. With no objection, I sat in front of her. I saw her looking deep into my eyes and I can feel something fishy was going on. Staring into my eyes, she slowly explained that someone had come earlier that day when I was not around. They came to ask for my hand in marriage for their son. I was very stunned to hear the word ‘marriage’ as I was already phobia to that particular word. My mum urged me to accept that proposal. My age was the main issue being brought up. My mouth shut. I could not give the answer spontaneously but just looking down to the floor to avoid my mum’s pleading eyes. I did pity her, but I also pitied myself. Hearing no words from me, she got up and walked into her room. Within a minute, she was out again, carrying a brown envelope. She handed the envelope to me.
With heavy heart, I took out its content. It came to be a photo of a tall and handsome guy, with a gorgeous pair of hazel eyes. I reckoned that he could grab any girls’ heart just by waking passed him on the street. I was about to say sorry to my mum for having to reject that proposal, when my mum told me to read what was written behind the photo. I turned the photo and a simple sentence was written there. It read ‘Let bygone be bygone. Marry me! – Neo’