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...and the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruitbats, and chain hamburgers...

When exactly was it, what specific point I mean, that words ceased to mean what they mean? Example:

I am listening to one of those banal mid-day soap operas where the stars end up doing the same thing every month, only switching crises like they were musical chairs, when a commercial comes on for some fast food chain or another. They are advertising a new breed of burger. This monstrosity, roughly the size of the hole made by a .357 at point blank range, is called The Six-Dollar Burger.

It's price? $3.79 Does anyone else see a conflict of information here? The Six-Dollar Burger is priced at something which is not Six Dollars. I boggle at the concept.

I am sitting in a friend's room, reading the back of the movie Cube, when my gaze happens upon a box of laundry detergent called Classic Trend. Try to wrap your brain around that one. Apparently, it is made by the same bastards what made Tide, another laundry detergent that has nothing to do with it's actual job (that is, unless you choose to wash your clothes in the ocean, which is a wonderful way to render them unwearable).

I read on a package of lettuce: Fresh from the freezer.

I read my bottle of NyQuil: Warning- May Cause Drowsiness.

I make the mistake of watching the television and hear, actually HEAR a politician use the phrase 'peaceful conflict'.

My head hurts...

Today's Lesson: There's something really peculiar about this broadcast.

Are You Listening?

------
"Quit this world, quit the next world, quit quitting!" -Sufi proverb.


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Comments

The following comments are for "Gouge Away #1"
by Beckett Grey

Today, you're man!
So, you finally lost you're column writing virginity. Was it good for you?

Well, I certainly enjoyed. But I must be going now. I have to work in the morning...

Nicely, done though-the column that is-with some interesting and funny observations. And ofcourse it was well written, but you probably already knew that.

later,

Parteepants

( Posted by: Richard Dani [Member] On: December 15, 2001 )

supa sweet
I new you had a column in you somewhere! Looking forward to further installments.

«kross»

( Posted by: kross [Member] On: December 15, 2001 )

about time
I must say that inconsistency in language has always been one of my major pet peeves. For example, has anyone noticed that today's most frequently misused word is, "ignorant?" Think about that.

Regardless, thank you for putting into words what so many of us have often thought.

( Posted by: E.G. Evans [Member] On: February 3, 2002 )





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