Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(5 votes)

RatingRated by
10Dew Of Blood

You must login to vote

There are hardly any genius words left, only a
pale desire to fill blank space
like the wishing well is empty until the
awake to play
and dip the bucket into her womb.

This desire wraps it's tendrils 'round the desperate need for
No one needs to point out
the inverted agression taking place
Self-hatred pulls and floods the inside out
too full myself.

When nothing exists in reality, only a
damp, dark-y bredding ground for a possible future
what emerges might shock the easy hearted
or dumb of mind
the needs fills me at the sight.

It's like I'm the old-age wishing well, bricky and hollow
my children dozed away in the cottages
and I feel sneaking desire
transending all dignity
bereft of nobility
Calling loud to the tots in the dark to save me
from myself

And from the dark emerges only squalid
shapes and forms dripping, reeking
blood and gore
Limbs misplaced and
organs on the outside
Unbalanced creature-children
never at peace.

Silence negates movement
engulfing awe
just jot down what I'm seeing
and call in helplessness
for my little sun-kissed children.

They aren't coming.

And all I can do is write all
I behold
and move in accordance with a pale
to fill the page
word by word
Though I can't write
I'm only a children's wishing well.

"God grant me distraction."

Related Items


The following comments are for "A Non-Scientific Description of My Frustration"
by Darkshine Raven

can't say I understood
Can't say I understood a word of this, but it was a great read!

( Posted by: gsmonks [Member] On: February 20, 2004 )

I personally love poems I can't understand...I feel like it leaves lotsa room for interputation. Thanks for the praise, and don't feel too out of the loop. I'm sure anyone would be hard-pressed to see what I'm getting at here. =D

( Posted by: Darkshine Raven [Member] On: February 20, 2004 )

I got it, DS
Actually, DS, I thought it was somewhat clear. The image of the wishing well and the children spoke to me of the creative process (the wishing well is a tunnel-like oject, therefore in Fruedian terms, a birth canal) which, by their known existence, validates the medium which draws them into reality. The section on deformed monster children seemed to speak to the line "There are no genius words left" -- a fear that in contrast to past brilliance your works may appear malformed in contrast while the real genius you seek to share lays appearent only in your own mind (the children are dozing) The final section strikes me as a cry of frustration that in being unable to fully describe your inner visions of genius (all I can do is write as I behold), you assess your status as a writer as being only that of a medium and a medium which is not fully in contact with a working muse (I'm only a children' wishing well). It's an interesting abstract of writer's block, to my mind, though my analysis could be totally wrong. I do wish you had taken fuller ownership of your imagery, and culled sharper descriptions of your metaphorical objects here, leaving out the more extraneous bits. It's quite an intriguing read, nonetheless.

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: February 20, 2004 )

Thanks for you analysis hazel. I'd say the way you're reading it could be accurate because I sort of came into the writer's block idea as I wrote. However, I started this poem on an entirely different tangent mostly trying to disect my odd personal relationships. I know...I'm weird.

Anyways, I wanted ask a question about your response. How do you mean that I should have taken "fuller ownership of my imagery"? I'm not challenging you but looking for clarifaction because I definitely agree with the other elements you noted. Thanks so much. =D

( Posted by: Darkshine Raven [Member] On: February 20, 2004 )

Well done darkshire, this is deep thoughts.

( Posted by: rightingit [Member] On: February 20, 2004 )

hazel, rightin
Thanks...I guess it's deep like the well, right? =D

( Posted by: Darkshine Raven [Member] On: February 21, 2004 )

Thanks a bunch! =D I like your inturputation of it and although it's not what I was thinking about when I was writing, it's a very interesting way to look at it. And sometimes, yeah I agonize quite a bit but most people don't notice because I get it all out with contorted poetry. =D

( Posted by: Darkshine Raven [Member] On: February 21, 2004 )


hey... i want to say that i think this is some of the best of your stuff i've seen so far. something about the implementation of a more conversational tone... it's as though you're bringing more of your authentic self to your poetry, and it's a joy to see you relaxing into it. there's a really refreshing honesty to the tone of this one. good work, darkshine.

and... yeah. cake rules.

( Posted by: ark [Member] On: February 21, 2004 )

I'm honestly surprised by all the positive response this is getting. I kind of feel like it came across as a bit whiny and too inaccesible (sp).

Needless to say it's a pleasant surprise.

Oh and thank you ark...your comments mean alot. =D

( Posted by: Darkshine Raven [Member] On: February 22, 2004 )

A Late Note
Sorry about the lateness of this.

Fuller ownership of imagery? I was thinking that when using the left brain to draw poetry, sometimes what ends up on the page is a jumble of images linked somewhat oddly by narrative lines of a running interior-monologue nature. So in owning the imagery one re-handles the images, examining what's written to see if it's as fully descriptive as possible and culling unnecessary interior-monologue where it doesn't seem to enhance the piece.

I did this a bit in college, particularily with an eight-page poem entitled "The P(s)alm of the Supernova". Later I realized it was an extended description of a panic attack.

I hope this helps. I wonder if I'm making any sense?

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: February 28, 2004 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.