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My neighbours like to ‘Swing it?’
I am strictly in the dark.
I think it involves ropes –
and hanging in the park?
It seems a common hobby,
for they have so many friends.
I like to get involved –
in the latest weird trends.
My wish will soon be granted.
I’ve received a nice invite.
‘You are cordially requested -
to swing with us tonight’
I’ve purchased ropes and pulleys,
waterproofs and woolly hat.
I think I’ll look the part,
though I feel a proper twat.
Tonight is my induction,
I’ll be swinging with the best!
I’ve practised all my knots –
on my extra large string vest.
I’ve made the expedition –
to my neighbours red front door.
I bang the heavy knocker,
as my jaw drops to the floor.
Through the window I spy adults –
in positions I don’t trust.
There’s a real lack of swinging,
just a sea of naked lust!
They stare at my equipment.
I invariably stare back.
I rearrange my ropes,
as they rearrange their cracks.
A sad misunderstanding –
that would shake me to the core.
I leave my rainproof clothing –
in a puddle by the door.

Sneak Technique

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The following comments are for "Swinging Accidental."
by Sneak

This is a classic. I'm still laughing!

( Posted by: gsmonks [Member] On: February 20, 2004 )

Thank you for posting gsmonks. very much appreciated.


( Posted by: sneak [Member] On: February 20, 2004 )

Hahahaha....gsmonks is right, this is absolutely wonderful. Hilarious. =D

( Posted by: Darkshine Raven [Member] On: February 20, 2004 )

Thanks Darkshine. Glad you liked it (-:


( Posted by: sneak [Member] On: February 20, 2004 )

my cheeks hurt
this poem is great, you made me cry from laughter...not only funny, but well put together...Great job !

( Posted by: Reba [Member] On: February 20, 2004 )

Mmmm... cheeks
thanks Reba, it's comments like these that keep me going. Thanks for posting.


( Posted by: sneak [Member] On: February 20, 2004 )

Swinging accidental
another goodie and a terrific punchline. rainproof in a puddle

( Posted by: Sneaky [Member] On: February 20, 2004 )

so funny... can't stop laughing...
Oh boy. That was funny. Creative, imaginative, brilliantly written, and extremely funny.

There's really not much I can say - I can't find anything to quibble about; it's as near perfect as it can be.

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: February 20, 2004 )

Thanks Sneaky, Claire and Spudley. Glad you liked it. One day Claire, I will cease to amaze you. Do me a favour? Don't tell me. I'll be gutted. Thanks Sneaky, as ever, for your comments and also to Spudley - Many thanks. I didn't want to reply to each separately as it would just appear that I am trying to 'up' my quota of comments. I do appreciate everyone posting. Thanks.


( Posted by: Sneak [Member] On: February 21, 2004 )

... or even 'Threeesome'

( Posted by: sneak [Member] On: February 21, 2004 )

yeah, outdid yourself this time. This is awesome!!!! Sneaky is sort of KINKY, I enjoyed this on many levels. No guessing left to's all been said.:-p

( Posted by: johnb79 [Member] On: February 22, 2004 )

Thanks johnb79 - Much appreciated.

( Posted by: sneak [Member] On: February 23, 2004 )

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