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(21 votes)

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7Darkshine Raven
8punker chick
8Safari Invasion

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A swirling trace,
Can crack the case.
Read the wall,
Where a finger may fall.

Uniquely designed,
The crook it will find
Was in the end betrayed,
A print to end the masquerade.

In the trade of sleight of hand,
Is it not ironicly grand,
That the hand's fingers,
Leave a trace that long lingers.

When the winds of the west blow, it is called Farror, for he is the god of all wind.


The following comments are for "Finger Prints"
by Farror

Seemed a tad simple for me. I thought it lacked depth. It was still fairly well written, and a good showing.


( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: February 16, 2004 )

Finger Prints
A goodie Farror, I liked it very much.

fingers...long lingers

an excellent wordplay

( Posted by: Sneaky [Member] On: February 17, 2004 )

Farror, I liked this poem but I thought that it's a bit, what's the word? Simplistic maybe. I'm not really sure because that's not quite what it is...Well, in any case I'm a bit of an oddball about poetry and I prefer when I'm left a bit confused. I didn't really feel as much confused by this as I felt let down. It was the short lines, the simplistic rythme scheme, and the shortness of the poem itself. I felt like there could have been, needed to have been, more to it.

There were some good moments, like the line Penelope mentioned about the masquerade and the last two lines. Unfortunately I really liked Kitten's piece and so I'm going with hers this time around. =D 7/10

( Posted by: Darkshine Raven [Member] On: February 17, 2004 )

Sorry to say it, but reading this poem some of the rhymes sounded a bit forced. I also found the rhythm was a bit awkward in places.

That said, I did like some of the pictures you painted; there were some interesting turns of phrase in there, which made the write-off contest a close one for me.

I've given this one to Kitten, but not by much of a margin.

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: February 17, 2004 )

The poem had potential but it needed a bit more length and maybe depth.

( Posted by: RightingIt [Member] On: February 17, 2004 )

Thanks and OOF
Well, thanks for all the good feeback and compliments. As for the simplisity, that's just the way I write, sorry if you don't like it RightingIn, oh man that three is hurting!

( Posted by: Farror [Member] On: February 17, 2004 )

Hey Bart, don't I get a comment? ;)

( Posted by: Farror [Member] On: February 17, 2004 )

and ye shall receive

I've been ruminating on what advice and critique to give this poem. I will agree that there are some good places in this poem, turns of phrase and the like. My biggest problem is this piece felt forced and heavy-handed to me.(Much like your comment on my lack of comment.) But that's just my two yen.


( Posted by: Bartleby [Member] On: February 17, 2004 )

i agree with most of the other comments, simple but appealing. maybe a little bit forced...? still nice to read though. well done.

( Posted by: elspeth_flick [Member] On: February 18, 2004 )

Thanks for competing against me, Farror, I realize you had some troubles getting your entry in, and I appreciate you pulling through.

I have to admit, I feel strange commenting on this one, because had I taken the time to plan more carefully my entry, I would've written a poem much the same as this one. Like Penelope, it could've used more mystery, it would've added to the thief theme, and perhaps another stanza or so would've done it. You did have some brilliant phrases, wonderful sets of words that worked very well. Your images were also well done. Being the traditionalist I am, I would also suggest that you try for tighter rhythm. I personally would've found the poem more appealing had your words been more even. However, you did an excellent job, and I hope to see you in another Write Off.

Oh, and darn you for giving away the answer to my riddle! *smile*


( Posted by: Kitten Courna [Member] On: February 22, 2004 )

Well thank you very much for the possitive feedback, although I should be congradulating you on yoiur victory!

( Posted by: Farror [Member] On: February 22, 2004 )

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