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7.5

(4 votes)


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7hazelfaern
8heart and soul
8lynlin
7Penelope

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the poet is one who puts into words
what he alone does feel
he uses words and phrases that
can make his works so real
sometimes people read these works
and sees what he has to say
and other times through blinded eyes
they read to his dismay
but who are we to think his thought
and judge what he does write
we are just the interpreters of his words
trying to look into his sights
if his message is not so clear
its not hard for us to see
yet other times we try so hard
we're blinded from his plea
some of what he writes is clear
and crisp in his own mind
yet other times there are no words
that discribe what he has inside
so he uses words and phrase
and he tries to make it clear
and he spills his feeling on the page
for all of us to hear
the thought that come through our mind
sometimes filture through our eyes
then that picture comes out as he wrote
much to his suprise
yet other times the only way
he can express the things he feels
no one else can understand
for to him alone it is real
so when ever you read a poets thoughts
try not only to look at the words
and you may just see the inner things
that in his mind occured



(sometimes our own mind only sees what is written in words, but other times the words don't tell the real story only the minds picture can interpret what is written and other times only the author can see that picture)



------
Frankie J. Dubs


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Comments

The following comments are for "the poet"
by f. j. dubs

enjoyed it
how so true indeed those thats and feeling are to us poets,nicely done very niely done

( Posted by: lynlin [Member] On: February 17, 2004 )

reading between the lines
Your ryhme scheme and rythm are quite good, here. However, using a grammar and spell check function would have seriously strengthened this work.

I also think it might help to concentrate your premise a bit more. Like a good debate presentation, use only the bits which support your argument -- readers will supply their own contrary opinions. I think it might help to delete lines 13-16, as they seem redundant without helping to further strengthen your point. There is a flagrant contradiction between lines 27 and 29 ("there are no words" and then "so he uses words") I don't know that you meant words specifically in line 29 so perhaps you could change it to sounds, sense or phrase? It seems you should either complete the thought begun in line 37 and 38 (yet other times the only way for him to express the things he feels)or delete the whole stanza down to line 40. What is that only other way which he can express the thoughts which no one else feels, while writing poetry?

Overall I think you've begun a very interesting piece on the difficult task of communicating through the written word. If you decide to edit or re-work this poem I'd be very interested in seeing the next version. :)

( Posted by: hazelfaern [Member] On: February 17, 2004 )

a little bored
i found myself a little bored by this piece. wishing that you had used these ideas to write a poem of the very nature you described. i also tend to react negatively to the sort of thing that showed up in the last four lines: an instruction given to the reader, a moral of sorts. and yeah, that's my own reaction.

( Posted by: ark [Member] On: February 18, 2004 )





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