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She receives my call
complaining why I don't go
to see my father
while he says it's alright
only gums bleed and joints ache

------
R K Singh


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The following comments are for "IT'S ALRIGHT"
by R.K.Singh

hmmmm
I personally think you could add more detail to this one. It kinda leaves the reader hanging. Details would be awesome, make it longer, from this little piece here I can sense that you can write pretty well, don't cut yourself short!

( Posted by: drkpoet [Member] On: February 14, 2004 )

drkpoet's comment
It's a tanka poem, and the form needs to remain confined to five lines.
Thanks for your comments. It's indeed possible to lengthen the theme of the poem in a regular poem.
R K Singh

( Posted by: R.K.Singh [Member] On: February 14, 2004 )





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