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a junior in my secondary school took her own life today. perhaps after fifteen years would be too much to bear. i know she felt everything weighing in, everything in disarray..i remember the turmoil that haunted me while i was still schooling. i remember how relapses gnawed our emotions in out and left us reeling; how jaded we felt it seemed to be. i remember staring from eleven storeys down and wondering if i'd like to turn back time and i couldn't and how suddenly one day it didnt matter anymore and now it's happened. and then i heard a friend say it couldn't be because she always seemed to be all right which is PRECISELY why someone always SEEMS to be all right and you THINK that she IS all right when she has NEVER been. we never know who leaves tomorrow, today, maybe later. why do we only realise when someone leaves for good. can we understand how much someone actually bleeds underneath, until her life is unveiled and there is no more to bleed..and when this hits us we become stupefied. sometimes you think it's difficult to die but for someone it could've been so simple, it could've been so elusive you don't know when you continue until you realise you're gone and you've slipped away. where do the parallels lie? i can't do anything, i don't even know who she is.. only Daddy knows. sometimes all of us wish we could leave rather languish away each day. but do we really know how profoundly the rest hurt. and perhaps that didnt matter to her anymore.. how could it? i've felt it before, felt it so intensely, it was more than the soul could bear- WHY DO WE KEEP LAMENTING WHEN SOMEONE JUST TAKES HER LIFE AWAY what point is there what point is there, what point is there in asking what. why do we only cherish and get our senses struck awake only when it's irreparable just when life and death is so extreme and distant someone steps in and cuts the cord ..

and what is physical excoriation compared to emotional laceration? nothing at all.



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The following comments are for "descent."
by inundatedgrace





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