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I'll paint a double rainbow,
Once the rains have gone
And swirl the sky seductively,
With my golden-violet paintbrush.

I'll paint the sky for you
To show its mystery,
I'll undulate the clouds for you
To create a spectral foam,

So soft against your skin
The bubble bath aroma!
The pastel heavens engraved
With blues and pinks and golds.

But now the beauty dies,
In purples, blacks and greys,
My pallet's lost its vibrancy,
The hope has ebbed away.


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Comments

The following comments are for "Double Rainbow"
by False Dawn

DoublyGood
Good title and the first stanza-

I'll paint a double rainbow,
Once the rains have gone
And swirl the sky seductively,
With my golden-violet paintbrush.-

---Terrific!
Just the thought of a double rainbow is the eruption of creativity at its volcanic best.GOOOOOOOOD (smile)

( Posted by: RightingIt [Member] On: February 14, 2004 )

unexpected end
hello False Dawn, firstly i'd like to say that your comments brightened me up much. =) your poem started off with a hopeful feel, and it reminds me of the song vincent -"starry starry night/paint your palette blue and grey/
Swirling clouds and violet haze/reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue/Colours changing hue/Morning fields of amber grain/Weathered faces lined in pain"
yet the final stanza suggests the painful truth that hope does "ebb away" in reality. but.. hope relives too. and there should be a shade of brilliant gold that lingers on, for you. =)

( Posted by: inundatedgrace [Member] On: February 15, 2004 )

Thanks
Cheers for the comments. There was a double rainbow outside my window when I wrote this and I found it very awe-inspiring. And nice to meet you, inundated. I'm glad my comments are being well met. My humour is sometimes a little misunderstood by some people (cmon Jess, I didn't mean it!) so it's nice to know someone appreciates it :)

( Posted by: False Dawn [Member] On: February 15, 2004 )

colorful imagery
I liked your imagery - it reminded me of a Virginia Woolf story I just read. Nice use of color. I love when writers use the word "pastel" as an adjective.

-SD

( Posted by: strangedaze [Member] On: February 15, 2004 )





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