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7False Dawn

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I'm longing for the feeling,
Beyond those of love and trust-
But the steel of you inside of me-
The feeling of your thrust.

Please don't make me beg....
We've been through all of this.
Please just thrust inside
And leave me with a kiss.


(The knife of you, so steely,
On my skin, it's cold and hard.
Thrust, penetrate the center,
And through my supple heart.)

------
V.


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Comments

The following comments are for "Thrust"
by Edens_wench

Broken
My word, this poem was gripping in a very unsettling way. Even with the turn in the final line the personalised plea from the writer left quite a vivid impression in my brain. Quite lovely.

( Posted by: Emlyn [Member] On: February 11, 2004 )

Odd
The narrator seems to be in two minds in this - obviously driven by lust but also wanting love (as shown in the last line). What confused me though, was why she (assuming it is a she) said "Leave me with a kiss". It's a far cry from wanting love, and more just a one night stand.

The two who have posted comments above seem to think it works because of this, but I think the message becomes rather confused. I don't mind love through lust, but some of the lines don't seem to make sense with the overall feelings.

( Posted by: False Dawn [Member] On: February 11, 2004 )





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