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I would hope that everyone likes this better than the dud. That was as crapy as crap. Just dont read it. Well I hope this is better. Well, here go's.....

8:33, well its me, kickflip. I'm on because I'm bored of hearing my sister singing. If any of you listen to music, here's some songs.
1.Sum 41, Fatlip
2.Limp Bizkit, My Generation
3.Sum 41, In To Deep

Now those songs kick. But what kicks even more is Nintendo Gamecube. I can list five things about it right now.
1.Good graphics
2.Awsome sound
3.Good games
4.Better than Playstation 2
5.Fun to play
There you have it five reasons to play Gamecube. It's not as much as X-Box thats $300, but it's only $150-$200.

Well there it is. Hopefully my best sumition. Hope you like it.

------
Welcoming To My World...


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Comments

The following comments are for "flip'in it"
by kickflip

Much better kickflip!
Much better formatting. I was going to reject this post, but I decided to approve it. Let me explain.

First off, your formatting was perfect. Great job. I'm glad to see that your taking the advice and putting it to good use. That's the mark of a true writer.

However, the content was weak. Not bad, just weak. A little to "dude" and "y0". What would have been much better is starting out with the song bit, which was fine. It lets people know where you are, what you've been up to. Not a bad touch. But then your mention of the x-box lacked substance. Had you listed some facts, maybe provided some links and titles to the games. The list you gave would have been a good "And here's what I really like about it" segment.

It was a much better piece over all. Just develop more. More details, more meat. Good job! Keep em coming.

( Posted by: Chrispian [Admin] On: December 6, 2001 )

Nod From Over Here
You're getting better - that's obvious. But there just that bit of... Maybe not lack of detail.. But lack of say.. A "grabber." When I opened this page up and read the first sentince - I didn't think "Hey! I can't wait to see what else he put!" I said "Hmm.. Sounds kinda boring.. Should I read it or not?" I often start my columns with a quote, some lyrics, or maybe even an excerpt from a past column I sent in. But it always seems to work on getting people to read my columns. So I suggest perhaps creating a staple to your name. My staple is the "Tyrant Monkey - Signing off"(which I put on every column or other submission - other then comments - that I do). perhaps making one will make you be remembered more.

Good job, by the way.

( Posted by: Tyrant Monkey [Member] On: December 6, 2001 )





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