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I am watching my hand as I write this letter, 
from shameful father to discarded son, 
and I'm gripping the quill so my fingertips whiten 
and my penmanship trembles the tiniest bit. 
Were you as pale and shaky  
when you were drawn out from the sea? 
An infant you were, I remember, guileless and innocent, 
free from all sin, punished unjustly 
for one man's ignorance 
and a woman's deceit. 
I knew you when I saw you. 
I could see me in your face. 
Yet when chance came to call you mine, 
I... I admit I turned away. 
Because every time I saw you I saw another where you stood. 
Her face. Her eyes. Cold and sharp, cat-green and cruel. Her 
mocking laughter and triumphant smile. 
I am your father. You are my son.  
But you are also hers. 
Her blood in your veins, her flesh on your bones... 
it turns my stomach to know what you are: 
a living reminder of a night of shame, 
born and twisted to forge a weapon 
designed to be wielded against me 
in my weakest and most crucial hour.  
They worship you, the young lads of this court, did you know that? 
You've befriended Companions, make pretty maids blush, 
you fight like a demon (and drink like one, too)... 
"Mordred!" they'll call, the boys in the courtyard, eagerness shining 
in bright button eyes, "Won't you come play with us now?" 
I long to be able to stand up and say  
to my knights and my kingdom, "Here is your prince. 
Here is my son. Here is Medraut, who is mine." 
But that can never be. 
The weight of shame and regret lies hard on my shoulders; 
for all that I am King, for all the power that I hold, 
I cannot be a father to my child. 
And that is why, on some nights when I look at the sky, 
I let my eyes run with tears 
as I quietly count  
all the days 
that there are  
between this  
and the end. 

"You need chaos within, to give birth to a dancing star."
-- Friedrich Nietsche

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The following comments are for "From Arthur to Mordred"
by Jei

*gets it*

I must admit when I read "From Mordred to Arthur" I totally didn't see this one. But after reading it I really really enjoy both of them as a pair. Both of the poems compliment each other nicely. Well done and very good job on the wording. Hrm, sorry if this doesn't make much since...basically it means I liked it.


( Posted by: Drastine [Member] On: April 28, 2003 )

good show
I have to agree with Dras that this is an excellent piece, not only as a stand alone but as a companion to your poem "From Modred to Arthur". You've crafted both poems exceptionally well and the parallel structure between father and son is very well excecuted. Good show. I'm looking forward to more.

( Posted by: Bartleby [Member] On: April 29, 2003 )

This evokes a sort of tention while reading your poems, especially this one.Your poetic diction says you have a great possibility yet to burst forth.Don't take my words as empty phrase, l'm cadid.

( Posted by: Myth [Member] On: June 20, 2004 )

Father and Son

I know this pair was written over a year ago, before I came on site, but that was my loss!

I can only read and enjoy free writing when it's theme carries me along, and this one did. Despite it being written specifically with Arthur and Mordred as the subjects, I can read in to it many parallel relationships and deep meaning.

This is a work of art, I said this morning I expected a good evenings enjoyment and you have certainly lived up to expectations.

Have Fun,


( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: July 7, 2004 )

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