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"We call it CBT, or Cognitive Binaural Trance," Zaldania said. "Actually, that's kind of a joke in this department. CBT used to be a term for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy." She grinned. "And something else, too, but you'll have to look that one up on your own.
"See, the problem is, Raja Yoga teaches us that cognitive beings can detach from Time, Space, and Ego, given enough time and practice. Like, say, twenty years of practice. But even with the Cure and corrective gene work, most people just don't have twenty years to spend sitting around in Asana. So we sat down and asked ourselves: If we dispense with the dogma, is there a way to shortcut this process? Maybe in the same way that automobiles shortcut walking? This wasn't an original idea, of course. Scientists, mystics, and wackos have been digging at this stuff for years. The problem was, no one cared." She paused to drain her coffee mug. "Well, someone cares now."
"Must be a few someones, if you've got a whole center for it," Isaac said.
"More than a few," Zaldania said. "This is the age for it, if you believe that sort of thing."
"What sort of thing?"
"Just something they go on about at the Commons. This is supposed to be the Age of the Magician. Or the Age of All Ages. Or the end of Ages altogether, the..." She made a face. "What'd he call it? The...Pandemonaeon, that was it."
"The what?"
She shrugged. "Who knows? I'm just a researcher. Anyway, someone somewhere thinks expanding consciousness is a good idea. Whoever's running the College, probably."
"Seems like the College runs itself," Isaac said.
Zaldania gave him a look. "You know, you can be unnervingly bright at times."
"Um. Thank you."
"And kind of stupid, too."
"Um."
"Want more coffee?"
"No. How am I stupid?"
Dr. Rider sat back in her chair. "You don't follow your own reasoning. If everything was being managed, yeah, that would mean someone was managing it. But like you said, everything manages itself. Now how did that happen?"
"So anarchy is stage-managed now?"
"Of course. At least, I think so." She leaned forward again. "Having power is easy. Not having power is hard."
"I don't follow you."
She waved a hand. "It's not important. We were talking about what's going to happen with you. Now, we think we've got a pretty effective way to shortcut Pratyahara and Dharana, which sets the stage for true meditation and ego loss. We do this through-" She counted them off on her fingers. "One, sensory deprivation in the Creature. Two, we'll be piping in binaural beats through your comm, in time with pulsations over a set of goggles, to activate Gamma wave activity. Three, with a cocktail of drugs-"
"Okay, hold on. What?"
"We'll have an I.V. feed going to your suit," Zaldania said. "We'll be pumping in the entheogens that will actually slingshot you down into meditation, to-"
"Like what?"
"Too many to name, really."
"Try."
She sighed. "All right. Let's see. You tried everything that came with your letter packet, right?"
"Sure."
"Did you notice anything in particular when you took the substances?"
"Not really."
"Good." Zaldania got up and refilled her own coffee cup. "I wanted to make sure you didn't have any adverse reactions. We were pretty sure about allergies from your med scans as a student, but you never know. A lot of what we'll be feeding you classifies as a nootropic, meant to speed up your cognitive processes and improve your overall memory of the experience. That's particularly important, memory. I can't tell you how many times people have had breakthrough experiences and then been unable to recall-"
"The drugs. Name them."
"Well, there's the nootropics, of course. Pramiracetam, Centrophenoxine, Alpha-GPC, Selegiline, Galantamine, Pantothenic Acid for the Acetylcholine conversion, Picamilon, concentrated Inositol-"
"Almighty hell."
"It's not as bad as it sounds. We're just supercharging your cognitive abilities."
"Right. Is there more?"
"Well, yes..."
"Name them."
Zaldania held up her hands. "Okay, bear with me here, all right? Apart from the nootropics, we're also going to be giving you a combination of chemically washed tetrahydrocannabinol, trimethoxyphenethylamine, and lysergic acid diethylamide, along with-"
"In real language, please."
Zaldania looked uncomfortable. "It's just-"
"Tell me, Dr. Rider, or I'm walking out."
She sighed again. "Tetrahydrocannabinol is extracted from Cannabis, of course..."
"And the other two?"
"Ah. Mescaline and LSD, respectively."
"Okay, no." Isaac got up. "To Hell with this, this is-"
Zaldania put a hand on his arm. "Wait. Just hear me out, all right? We're not just a bunch of hippies in someone's basement." She looked around at the storage room. "Well, you know what I mean. We know what we're doing. I've done this on dozens of people. I've done this on myself, Isaac. Is it possible you could have a negative experience? Yes, of course, that's always a danger. But you'll come out of it. I'll be there the whole way, listening and monitoring, ready to talk you down if things get rough. I wouldn't spring this on you if I didn't think it was safe, and maybe beneficial for you."
"Spring this on me..." Isaac frowned at her.
"What? What's that look for?"
"What was it you said earlier? Bright, but kind of stupid?"
"Isaac-"
"No, just hold on a second. Even if this is standard procedure- which I doubt- this is all moving too fast. Much too fast. And the desk clerk said you were expecting me."
Zaldania said nothing.
"And even if it's as safe as you say, you'd have wanted to do some physical workups, get as much information on me as you could. That's what scientists do, isn't it?" He folded his arms. "Except not here. Which means someone's circumventing your normal processes. Someone's managing you." He looked at her. "Who is it, Dr. Rider? Who told you to put me up to this?"
She met his gaze without shame or fear. "He calls himself Bishop."
"Fuck! I knew it!" Isaac threw his hands up. "I fucking knew it. My whole life is being stage-managed." He sat down heavily in his chair. "It was all too perfect, wasn't it? I just felt like I had to come here. I just had this instinct. Right." He looked away. "Magicians."
"I'm sorry, Isaac."
"Stage-managed anarchy, like you said. I thought his spiel sounded too good to be true. You were right, Dr. Rider. Kind of dumb, sometimes. You know, I'll bet it was him that got me into the Invisible College in the first place. I can't prove it, but-" He smiled without humor. "I've got this feeling."
"If it makes you feel any better, I think he's doing it for you as much as anything. He seemed to think it would do you a lot of good."
Isaac felt tired again. He seemed to sense invisible forces, pulling him inexorably forward into a dark tunnel. "I hardly even know him."
"You don't have to go through with it if you don't want to, Isaac."
He glared at her. "Are you sure? I'd probably just end up coming to the same place some other way if I left. All paths are the same. Everything is true, nothing is permitted." He rubbed at his eyes again. "I have the weirdest fucking life. I can't wait to see what I'll do next."
"Isaac-"
"Forget it. I'm just talking to myself." He stood up again. "I made the trip here, I might as well get something out of it." He looked over at Zaldania. "You've done this on dozens of people, you said?"
"Well. A dozen. Almost."
"Fantastic." Isaac opened his mouth, and even before the words came out, he had the feeling that they had already been spoken, long ago. "The hell with it. I'll do it. Strap me in and dose me up, Doctor."
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"Quit this world, quit the next world, quit quitting!" -Sufi proverb.
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Take Me Back to the Garden of Love - 14
