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Dawn
Hi, remember me? I doubt you will, after all it's been nearly twenty years. It was another time and another place. We were two young kids with no one who cared about us and nothing to lose, but yet fate brought us together in the form of a grocery store. I remember you telling me that when you first noticed me I was picking up a bag of potato chips and I had a hole in my jeans that I wasn't entirely aware of. I blushed so much when you told this to me years later.
The first time I saw you you were about 8 years old and you were with your father and your sister. I recall that you always looked so unhappy even when you tried to smile and I guess I made a mental note about you. Odd that we would eventually end up dating and consider marriage.
I remember that we both had a hard time in school since we were both considered outcasts. When I graduated you were there by my side and that made me feel as if I were on top of the world, because after all knowing that you've achieved something when other have doubt it's always comforting to know that there is someone there who will support you.
But yeah, we still had our hard times. I know that your mom didn't like or trust me and despised the idea of me moving in with you, and your sister gave me the impression that she totally despised me, but when we were together it didn't really matter. I know that it was hard for me to find a job without a car and that it made things difficult, but I did what I could because I never wanted to disappoint you.
Still don't remember me? Here, I'll give you a date: September 6, 1991.
Doesn't ring a bell? To me that is a day that I'll never forget. I remember that I was out looking for a job when I saw you with Randy-you know, the dorky-looking guy who had the 1964 Chevy and the back seat full of speakers? Yeah, HIM. I recall that when I went up to ask you about it you said you were just "friends", and how later that night he called you as we were talking more about it.
Starting to sound familiar? How about when I gave you the choice of staying with me and see this through or ending our relationship? How could you so easily take two years and simply toss them aside? I'm not going to lie when I say that you were my first true love and that night was the single most painful experience of my entire life, one that I will remember until my dying day.
Yeah, that was almost twenty years ago and every day since then I have thought about you and wondered where you were and what you were doing.
Myself? Since then I've moved to another state and met a woman with which I had a son. She eventually left me and years later I would lose my son. I eventually got married to a girl I met one night at a restaurant that I was working at, but after eight years we got divorced. I've now been divorced for six years now. I guess you can say that I've had sort of bad luck with women.
Recently I was on a popular social networking website looking for one of the guys I used to know in high school when I came across a girl that looked familiar. I checked out her profile and, as is common with me, I looked at her friends list and that's when I saw you. At first I was in doubt, so I clicked on your picture I nearly cried. Men aren't supposed to cry, especially old men like me. But how can one deny the emotions that one feels upon seeing his first love in so long of a time? They say that time heals all wounds, but I disagree.
I often catch myself going back to your profile just to see your face and wonder if you've thought about me at all. I've often thought about sending you a message but catch myself because I'm afraid of opening up old wounds. I know that we'll probably never meet again, or even talk for that matter, after all you are on the opposite end of the country.
I've grown old and frail over the years and often find myself digging through old pictures and negatives looking for a trace of what we once had so that I could relive those memories that we shared together. I think the pictures and negatives may have gotten lost during one of my moves. It's hard to remember.
By now I'm sure that you may have some idea of who I am. I hope that when you think of me, and the times we had together, that you smile knowing that we had fun and loved each other for all of our worth and that I will always hold a special place in my heart for you.
I'm going to close for now because the tears are making it hard to see the screen and I'm no longer able to stay up as late as I could when I was young. I wish you the best of luck in life and maybe we'll meet again in the next one.
I'll love you always.
D___
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He who is unable to live in society, or has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god -Aristotle
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