Sun on a Mountain
by hazelfaern (Member) - published: December 30, 2008
Word Count: 131 Word Bytes: 917 Viewed: 266 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by hazelfaern

(4 votes)

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10	Beatrice Boyle

10	jonpenny

10	rcallaci

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Sun on a Mountain

You are unmoored
And in your unmooring you
Sway
With the pangs of
Your slightest
Hungers, angers, quivers
Come what may

A tepid tear from a glacier
You dribble
Down to the Sea
Agape, a white-knuckled rivulet
Still you writhe to be more free

The Sun shoots through you, piercing
You with joy and fear
And Light
Still on you run, unblinking
To the Ocean and to Night

If you tremble upon a precipice
If into the clear air you
Leap
Still the Mountain: always too heavy
And the Ocean: always too Deep

If a glance of the Sun sometimes tricks
You, if --
In one moment -- you feel whole
How easy to forget What you come from
And the endless source of your Soul

------
"All the darkness in the world
cannot put out the light
of one candle"

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Comments

The following comments are for "Sun on a Mountain"
by hazelfaern

In light, brilliant
Jennifer-
That your returned voice is a welcomed-with- pleasure discovery would be to understate.

A highly enjoyable read.

Ciao,
Robert William

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: December 30, 2008 )

Welcome back Jennifer!
Sooo good to see you back here Jennifer...we've missed your brilliant poetry...hope you're here to stay!

Bea

( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: December 30, 2008 )

Sun on a stripped-down soul
Jennifer? Whenever I pop in here these days (which is seldom), I check to see if one or two old favourites have posted anything new... usually, they haven't. It's a joy to find a poem from you after such a long hiatus. I do hope all is well in your non-lit.org life.

This poem is very beautiful, and also really quite different from most of your previous postings, I think? I associate your stuff with a lot of very finely-crafted detail and personal emotional analysis, so reading it is like looking at a Canaletto or something. This one seems to have a much more abstract sweep (a Turner sunset, maybe?). It also seems somehow 'period', as if it would suit a couple of hundred years ago. Maybe that's the rhyme scheme, or the impersonal voice, or the preoccupation with spirituality?

I really like your landscape-imagery for being spiritually adrift, and the way in which being dangerously unmoored is turned into a positive: because of course when we are the least anaesthatised by the comfortable and familiar, we are the most alive to evolution. I'm intrigued by the tension in the last 2 verses. Are you saying that freedom always has its limits, and that sometimes we can be tempted by joy to forget this, and yet that remembering and suffering these limits is the source of 'soul'? I'm not sure I like that conclusion, but I do like the poem.

( Posted by: mobiussoul [Member] On: January 13, 2009 )

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