For Lena
by andyhavens (Member) - published: December 1, 2008
Word Count: 68 Word Bytes: 572 Viewed: 451 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by andyhavens

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There is a place where silence meets
the roar of blood, the wind of breath.
Restless.

The black of black and white of white
important only for the contrast.
Together.

Massaged in sunlight, deep night drained,
curtain rain, desert dry, winter ice.
Mirrors.

Stillness, violence, worry, peace,
passion, boredom, hatred, love.
Balance.

Our eyes cry beauty.
Our hearts beat love.
Our minds find pattern.
Our hands hold

peace.

------
______________________________________________

I blog irregularly at TinkerX. I'm also on Twitter. @andyhavens, go figure.

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Comments

The following comments are for "For Lena"
by andyhavens

Andy... a tribute
Andy,

I'm still perusing your previous piece, intent on commenting; meanwhile, I'll process this fitting tribute as a reprieve.

The first stanza captivated me. It intermingles the corporeal and the ethereal through scenic composition, which then divides as pianotide tide keys of a rainbow prism, only two colors. I wish the second verse of that stanza was left implicit in the first, but it carries a profound realization. So far so good.

The thirds stanza contains a series of fresh and beautiful adjective-noun combinations for describing a mirror, yet they strike me as very disconcerted, perhaps intentionally so, but I would have preferred a developed image as opposed to a string of references. As it stands, it's almost like stuffing words and calling it enjambment.

The fourth and fifth stanzas did little for me. Like the third, the fourth is enumerative, but, unlike the third, it's a set of abstract nouns, which, to me, do not deliver much. I get the message, but it's too overt. I suggest you offer us a concrete image for balance.

The fifth stanza is very elegant, as far as rhythm and cadence. A mesmerizing use of slant/half-rhyme; yet, I would have preferred something more original - not so much as changing the sentiment, but perhaps, using stronger, more specific verbs and/or nouns.

I enjoyed this. It's genuine and heartfelt. It's good, potentially very good.

Thank you for posting it!

Best,
Ariana

( Posted by: Ariana [Member] On: December 1, 2008 )

Ohhhhhhh
Immmmm Tellllliiinnnnnn....

Andy and Lena sittin in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!!!

just kidding...berry berry nice man...this will make witchypoo very happy...and isnt that what were all shooting for...happy...

( Posted by: kilgoretrout [Member] On: December 1, 2008 )

ANDY, for me? THANK YOU! WOW WOW WOW!
Andy,

I just got up, had a rough morning at the docs, operation coming up real soon on Jan. 13---oh, boy, morphine drip day, hehehehe;-)

Anyway, came here real quick after taking care of some business my friend by phone.

Took a peek, was reading through, didn't even notice this till after a bit then I almost spit out my coffee, yes, I drink coffee, my last tribute to my past (won't be able to do that after my op anymore)....

OH MY GOSH GOLLY GEE... AND BONK ME ON THE HEAD WITH A HOUSE AND WHILE THE MUNCHKINS DANCE ALL ABOUT....WHEWEEEEE!

What an honor, to get an Andy Havens tribute and so beautiful, so beautiful and love filled and pure....

You know Shannon wrote me a poem one once, called: "PROMETHEESS" I keep it on my profile page here and on myspace.com/msjanemsjane, and now, I am adding this one too, WOOHOO!

It isn't often a conceptual neo Dadaism artist (just a dabbler writer) gets such and honor and a tribute from REAL GOOD writers like you

...Oh, YES, like Terence said above;

THIS MADE MY DAY BIG TIME WAY!

Thank you for this Andy, and may you have long life filled with happiness, health and prosperity in all ways, to you and all of those you love, and may the rest of the world have some of all that too;-)

Tashi Delek and Namaste!
Peace, Love, Happiness!

With ALL love,
Lena

( Posted by: TheRealKarmaTseringLhamo [Admin] On: December 1, 2008 )

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