by rote
by AuldMiseryGuts (Member) - published: November 14, 2008
Word Count: 164 Word Bytes: 1492 Viewed: 847 times
Category - The Write Off
© Copyright by AuldMiseryGuts

9.38

(21 votes)

Rating	Rated by

10	Ariana

10	Beatrice Boyle

9	BWOz

8	chapter1

9	drsoos

8	firstedition

9	johnjohndoe

10	kilgoretrout

7	NucleusFire

10	OchaniLele

10	Ogg

10	Penelope

10	PETERPAULINO

10	rcallaci

9	Rogan

10	ruthpenn

9	TheRealKarmaTse..

10	thesadpoet

10	tinalouise

9	Viper9

10	wguilddragoness

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They were the ham-
hocked gods of
Small mercies

And we wore our
Unwitting wings
With awe

The grown men
Grizzled,
Lathered the faithful

While we fizzed with
Boyhood’s
Biddable rage.

I was up on
Pa’s shoulders

While Fra plead
The causes of
Obstinate saints

The omnivorous earth
Ate another

One down,
To a placid
Equality.

From the grave
We went to
Make music

Beat bodhrans in to
Rhythmic submission

And we,
Who were aspirant stoics
Offered our blood with
The rest.

Pa, it was
Who had shown me
How to give
Volatile condolence

And sat
At the feet of
The old men

We were filling with
Ruthless sympathy.

So we took up near-
knuckle
Redivivus

So we fought with a
Credulous fire

So we practiced a sad
Moral finitude

Oblivious opportunists.

They were the ham-
hocked gods of
Small mercies

And we wore our
Unwitting wings
With awe

An unprincipled sorrow
We learnt by the book

Clear-cut our expendable
Spirits
To nubs.

------
The human race, the only race I know where everybody loses.

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Comments

The following comments are for "by rote"
by AuldMiseryGuts

by rote
I love the contrasts in wording and the opposites that build the paradoxes and reveal deeper descriptions of life in a battleground to a climax of annihilation.

( Posted by: echomarm [Member] On: November 14, 2008 )

Write-off, Shannon, ROTE insights
This is so insightful and rich, and again, like most like 99 percent of your writing, I absolutely adore, I do have my favorites amongst your works though. And, here this rocks, totally, but I had to give Ogg the edge because he wrote about something that just pushed all my WOW buttons, not that this is not a WOW too, because you get lots of WOWS from me and you blow me out of the water with your word-crafting ability, but I had to decide. And this time Ogg just simply PUSHED my super buttons of JOY read and my alley read perfectly, so that is why I gave him the 10 and you the 9. Rote by the way is a word I like to use, ever since I took lessons of the Monroe Institute in VA, long story and interesting journeys there indeed!

I have to get up early in the morning got a local martial major tournament even that my son's Tae Kwon Do school/Hapkido is sponsoring. So, goodnight..

Again, awesome job, so many lines and insights here, perfection is you middle name in word-craft, you never disappoint.

Namaste!
Lena

( Posted by: TheRealKarmaTseringLhamo [Admin] On: November 14, 2008 )

Rote - the write off
This flows like a song Shannon - can't write much more - my computer keeps knocking me off.
But this surely deserves a 10 from me. Will look in on Ogg later when I stay on for more than a second!

Bea

( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: November 14, 2008 )

showcasing shannon- rote
http://www.urbandictionary.com/

rote= learn/ likely learning hocked= pawned
Fra= umm, likely ma [Mother]one down to faculty of mind
bodhrans= musical instrument to bong to [beat to]
aspirant= yes- aspiring, but had to check [rote]
redivivus= vivid recall, however unlikely, or is it[eulachon?]
nub= contemptuous contemporary Internet chip-worm [e.g.]

In the pan and then out, all rote to a cause? Will do, others not. Of 34 years, a nub sixteen of them, is how I read it, thesaurus at hand. Two bitter eulogies came to mind, one in a similar vein to NI. sectarian violence (at the hands of an oppressor) and the other, however likely and candid, from the perspective of, ''an admiring and rote audience'', (Moi). Ummm: yes, yummy ratiocination. If someone had to say it, then it was Shannon. Now well read, and better for it- the experience. Especially, the end of to whom had bitten the bullet of insidious liaisons (Ham=BBC and Co.). Chorus aside, everything that should have been said ''bitter sweet'', was written unobtrusive. Sly Shannon. I feel the promise and rhythm of de bongos to beat on, that which further demands of Shannon to put words together with stringent diction and form, not cut down to naked necessities. You read C. Duffy- now that's the way to do it! In a similar vein, please? [Rote]

firstedition [8]

( Posted by: firstedition [Member] On: November 14, 2008 )

Shannon
This is decidely good stuff, your claim to 'arm-flinging' is unjustified. Whatever the outcome, I will have learned from the experience. Btw the last thing I wanted was to go up against you in poetry competing but our styles are so different as to produce two completely opposite poems from the same subject.
Take care
Paul

( Posted by: Ogg [Member] On: November 15, 2008 )

Old men and boys
Whenever I read a piece that includes children, old men, middle age men, I instantly "see" the scenery. YOu capture that very well here, as you most certainly always do.

It is not chronologically written, but when you write "I was up on/Pa’s shoulders" then follow later with "Pa, it was/Who had shown me/How to give/Volatile condolence
And sat/At the feet of/The old men" there seems to be a completeness to the chronology of life. At that point my thoughts went back to the opening metaphorical "They were the ham-hocked gods of Small mercies". AS you reinsert that stanza tward the end I think that is where the timeline is completed/organized.

Shannon, I know I don't comment as much as I should, especially your work, but if I haven't said it lately your words always inspire me to read and write more. I'll bet there are many in this forum who feel the same.

Great thoughs.

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: November 15, 2008 )

thanking many
Stephanie, you have it absolutely. thank you for stopping by and sharing your perceptive reading. it is so nice to hear from you again. hope to read you soon…

Lena, that’s quite alright, my friend. I scored Ogg a ten for his clarity and his pitch-perfect evocation of transcendence. I’m very happy with a nine, and that my poem is in such good company… best of luck to your son, and thank you for stopping by…

Bea, thank you kindly, for your generous rating and for showing support. always appreciated, my friend…

fe, urban dictionary was not one-hundred percent: rote as in, yes, to learn by rote, by constant repetition. ham-hocks are the shank ends of hams, mostly gristle and muscle. the reference to men as ham-hocked describes them as mostly gristle and muscle. Fra is an abbreviation of the name Francis. bodhrans are traditional Irish drums, commonly associated with pagan rituals. aspirant, yes, as in one who is aspiring. redivivus, to revive, to bring back to life, to resurrect. nub, a stump, or the essence or core of a thing. like clear-cut trees…

of “sectarian violence”, you are correct, although that phrase in itself irritates me beyond reason… if I could write like Duffy, I would. but I am not Duffy. I am a lesser being/ poet, and I have to be true to my own hackneyed voice and vision… your considered verdict on this piece is appreciated. cheers…

Ogg, thank you kindly, but you give me too much credit. your poetic offerings are always far more succinct and told with much greater degree of wit and wisdom. all I do is spread misery around like margarine, sometimes that works and sometimes not. thank you, though, for your generous rating, and being more than a worthy opponent…

BW, thanks for the generous but undeserved rating and your kind and thoughtful comments. If I help stir that slumbering muse of yours, I can at least feel I’ve done something right…

And thanks too to johndoe and to wguilddragoness, for taking the time to rate this so positively.

close run thing, so far. come on all, don't be shy. I can't speak for Ogg, but I promise not to bite... hard ;)

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: November 15, 2008 )

slightly distracted but..
.. I can't just blow off a comment without time to consider- everything, a hell of a lot more time than Writeoffers get to get a mere clue of potential.

Steve

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: November 15, 2008 )

You Rote This???
The write stuff is what u have here...

"So we practiced a small moral finitude"

That fits so well after so much...

The dog ate chocolate chips out of the toilet so we practiced a small moral finitude...

I love this very much as I love u very much...

YOU WIN!!!!!

( Posted by: kilgoretrout [Member] On: November 15, 2008 )

Very nice
Shannon,

Enjoyed the read but i did get distracted and my mind wondered to my zen reality. I needed a boost in the middle. all around very good indeed.

CR

( Posted by: NucleusFire [Member] On: November 16, 2008 )

thanking many more
soos, well thanks for blowing through here, good doctor, and leaving your smile behind…

Tina, thank you for finding the musicality in this. I often feel fairly lumen when I write. to make something lithe enough to lilt, that is a very fine compliment indeed. thank you too for your generous rating. not deserved, but always appreciated…

Pen, thank you so much for being beguiled and for inflating both my ego and score ;)… thank you too for “a somewhat begrudging love of the familiar”, which is a wonderful way of explaining it, the way that I feel and the feeling I attempt- sometimes successfully, and sometimes not- to distil…

Terence, I got drunk and I fell on my face last night so we practiced a small moral finitude… holly shit! you’re right. ;) … you make me laugh, and I need that… but it ain’t over ‘til it’s over, and Ogg’s a worthy opponent… your greagarious generosity, always appreciated. love ye…

CR, no bother. I think I got distracted while I was writing it too, and I much enjoyed Ogg’s entry, so you are not alone. thank you none-the-less for your considered rating. honesty is all we can ask. hope I get to read something new from you again soon. all the best…

and thanks too to thesadpoet for the generous rating. much obliged to you all… I think though, it was Chloe who noticed I had received more votes than Ogg. please can everybody make sure they vote for both, otherwise it just isn’t fair. cheers all. síochán.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: November 16, 2008 )

Start, VOTE! (please)
Hi Stuart,

Come read and vote on the Write-off...one through ten voting score system, somewhat subjective, but with some guideline from what I recall being said years ago by either Chrispian or RCallaci, not sure whom it was, but I do remember a brief explanation along the way at some point in these past 4 years here as a member. A score of seven is usually the lowest score given by writers with any integrity or respect towards their fellow WRITE-OFF members, score of 7 means that the voter believes the writing had mistakes in or or was poorly written...8 means OK, writing is acceptable no real big mistakes or flaws, but still not a favorite for whatever reasons of subjective judgement, and 9 and 10 are a matter of degree in preference of writing style or subject or some belief in the superior writer in all aspects, including style, and subject matter, etc. Those who mark below 7 are trolls aka jerks, though I find that marks of 7 are not fair in this case, because both writers, Ogg and Shannon are far beyond such low scores, but to each his own in interpretation when there is so much room for subjectivity.

Come read, both pieces and vote. Sometimes it is a hard call because the styles are so different. In other cases the styles are close enough that it is not unusual to give the same score to each writer. You get my drift I am sure.

As to troll voters, Firstedition has got to go, and "possibly" another who has not been active here in over a year but suddenly showed up suddenly JUST to vote are questionable, could just be coincidence, but what do I know?...also, if any member votes either vote on both or forget voting, the final count should be even as Chloe has mentioned.

Now, if a work truly is absolutely horrid in punctuation, and the basic elementary school problems of poor writing, then yes, go for the 6 and below, but I have not yet seen any writers so far that deserve below a 6 for any "obvious" reasons anyway.

Love you my friend,
Namaste, blessings,
blessed be and so
forth;-)
Lena

( Posted by: TheRealKarmaTseringLhamo [Admin] On: November 16, 2008 )

reply to 'by rote'
''by rote'' - works well with the inclusion of the significance of ''core'' in the could be connotations of a contemporary computer user, as one example. His heritage. Sure, I like use of the word ''nub'' as your last word. So many of your words have many meanings, I believe by scribing this one, I were refreshed to its differing paths, intentional or not. Nub worked for me another way. Does anyone feel the same way, ''by rote''?

firstedition

( Posted by: firstedition [Member] On: November 16, 2008 )

To: rcallaci
Hi, RCALLACI [Admin]

Regards score: please offer input as to FE giving a genuine as where appropriate, generous score? For example, this piece of poetry is not, and Shannon would agree with FE, the best piece of posey scribed by Shannon; to date. So you humbly prescribe a 10- no problem, but this detracts from his earlier works which are better than? Dunno, I woud welcome an opinion as to why there are so many high scores of 10 on lit.org, I can't be the only one that thinks this, are we all literary scholars and Shakepeares?

No not serious, seriously, but communication works wonders. And Chloe raises an interesting point as to pairing the score, however, I believe this is self explanatory. If one vote is cast, the other is likely about to be cast. Hope to pin scores that are as is, fair and rightful. Some believe a six were unfair for our other ''write-off'' writer, so what say rcallaci? Is this not part and parcel of judging? My pounds worth.

firstedition

( Posted by: firstedition [Member] On: November 16, 2008 )

Voting Fairly!
It has been my understanding that the votes we csat represent how we truly feel about the work...how it touches us...did it strike a chord within us.

That is how I vote and if I believe that most of Shannon's (or anyone else's) work rates a ten or a nine or an eight...then so be it. I don't rate it against his or hers other work and it is THIS work that is in question. If his or her work touches me deeply then I WILL vote it as a ten even if I've rated past works that way!

And THAT I think is the only fair way!

Bea

( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: November 17, 2008 )

When it comes to poetry . . .
. . . I'm at a loss on how to "judge." Simply put -- I'm no poet. I do know that I enjoyed this piece, so for the sake of fairness (and lack of judging qualifications here), I'm giving both parties a "10".

Ochani Lele

( Posted by: OchaniLele [Admin] On: November 17, 2008 )

fairness
as far as fairness goes, all I would ask is that voters score both pieces, and that they do so honestly. I don’t mind a bad rating, so long as it’s an honest one. I would also ask that those who feel a low rating is warranted leave a comment so I know why and where I went wrong, and, more importantly, how to improve for next time. ;)

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: November 17, 2008 )

Shannon... of clear-cuts
This read as an untamed study in doorway scrutiny. I imagined the lights of a cityscape and a man of labor, his scorching back bent over the de-weeding procedure.

Thank you for this.

Best,
Ariana

( Posted by: Ariana [Member] On: November 17, 2008 )

thanking yet more

firstly thank you to Rogan, chapter1 and PETERPAULINO for stopping by and leaving positive proof…

thanks to Bob for his generous rating, and to opening his cynical heart to my hackneyed efforts…

thanks to Ochani Lele, likewise, for his even-handed and generous verdict on both pieces…

and thank you to Ariana, for a perceptive and poetic response and for a rating I am- I know- unworthy of…

and thank you too to Lena, Rogan, Bea, fe, for bringing with you your thoughts on the way the write-off is rated and run. I have rated, I think twice, under none-write-off conditions, for poems I felt deserved an extra portion of kudos where I had nothing else I could give. the reason for this is that poetry is such a subjective medium, and what makes “good” poetry is equally open to debate. also, I am unsure if everybody is rating with the same criteria in mind… I only hope that my comments serve to illustrate my true feelings about a piece, better than any numerical score system could…

thanks again all. much obliged.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: November 17, 2008 )

Ariana
I'd really welcome your feedback on my piece when you score it.

Take care
Paul

( Posted by: ogg [Member] On: November 17, 2008 )

W/O etc.
A debate perhaps? with voting for a week, troll votes to be ignored and the winning idea is initiated? I honestly don't know but do agree that presenting both posts on the same page and making it impossible to rate one without rating the other would help a lot. Would it be possible to do that? Y'know invalidate a vote that doesn't have a corresponding vote on the other piece?
That's my two-penny's worth anyway.
Take care
Paul

( Posted by: Ogg [Member] On: November 18, 2008 )

tinalouise Rocks!
The #'s rating is used by a small (but in part, determined) portion of the publishing population. Maybe you must have posted something in order to vote. I just put a 9 on both here but it's like comparing cumquats and pineapples. It's difficult for me to # somebody's blossoming or fading. Both bud and bloom here. Used judiciously and requiring a vote for both is OK. Quills up or down seems more simplistic than the # thing. I think further thought and discusssion is needed yet I'd just as soon see the numbers for write-offs unless and until you can show me a better idea.

Maybe the option 'Yea' = 8 / 'Neh' = 5 could serve the numerically disaffected; yet I doubt it, as I still know I'm giving an 8 0r a 5, a number.

Anyway..

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: November 18, 2008 )

Cathartic Ire
Builds like a good sermon. I could hear it read in a voice steadily building in fury. Impotent fury.

( Posted by: viper9 [Member] On: November 18, 2008 )

cheers, V
for generous rating and insightful reading. much appreciated.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: November 19, 2008 )

Beautiful, Shannon!
Spectacularly written, this piece. I love the superb flow of beautiful words uttered here. Your poetry does not mislead. And there’s no limit to your imagination. It conceives an immeasurable addiction that flutters inside another writer’s heart. Impeccably good stuff.

( Posted by: ruthpenn [Member] On: November 19, 2008 )

Ruth
thank you kindly, both for your generous comment and rating. undeserved, but appreciated.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: November 20, 2008 )

'rote by rote
I may well have spoken prematurely. This intrigues me in a way that perhaps only our English majors and others self-annoyed and annoying may truly appreciate and/or cluelessly trash.

I am none of these, yet I would prefer you indulge me, and correct me(harshly!) if I am incorrect.

This reads like a public hanging, it indeed is.
I'm thinking of the 'colereds' vs 'whites' in "Brown vs. Board of.."

Yes, but first non-white, particularly African and American..

I can't do this right at this moment.
Love to all,
Love is all you need
(and a good securities stash- oops!).

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: November 20, 2008 )

Congrats
Many congrats on your win Shannon. Sorry I couldn't get on earler but I've just pulled night shifts at the Post Office (temp only) and was in bed until about midday today. Glad I nearly made the nine but me against an Irishman with poetry - no chance! I'll lift a glass tonight to you.
Cheers
Paul

( Posted by: ogg [Member] On: November 22, 2008 )

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