shot.
by johnjohndoe (Member) - published: November 14, 2008
Word Count: 42 Word Bytes: 287 Viewed: 237 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by johnjohndoe

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late one night, while armed
with a Winchester Defender
12 gauge shotgun, I confronted
a young man in my backyard.
I pointed the barrel of the shotgun
at his chest and whispered,
"don't move." but he moved.
so I shot him.

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Comments

The following comments are for "shot."
by johnjohndoe

Ted Nugent fan?
You and Ted must be the best of friends? Let me guess as to what you will write of next? The girl who rejected you so you stalked her? The woman who said no so you raped her? Clever. JohnDoe seems an appropriate choice of pen name.

( Posted by: wguilddragoness [Member] On: November 14, 2008 )

moving targets
another rifle poem, hu? we're such a violent bunch here at lit.org ;) ...

glad to read you again, johndoe, been a while, but you're back on form. love the way this poem's as much about what isn't said as what is. love the blunt, almost complacent matter-of-factness with which the shooting is depicted... wonderful desensitised quality to this. a blackly comic comment on the ubiquity of guns and the moral malaise of a nation…?

do I care? enjoyed muchly, reguardless.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: November 15, 2008 )

response to 'shot'
nothing wrong with harmless humour. so he was shot down to size. makes sense. has to do with the constitution, I believe.

firstedition

( Posted by: firstedition [Member] On: November 15, 2008 )

Stark reasoning
It brings a Clint Eastwood scene to my mind -- not meant in a bad way. Perhaps that is the point you want to make -- that we are so inundated and desensitized to such volatile situations that this could very easily happen, and probably does to some degree, due the the scenes we witness on screen so often. How else could this situation end? After all, in all the action cop shows I've seen thats how it always ends....right?

Pretty tough thoughts, and I suppose could be seen as much more metaphoric, depended on the readers' level of sensativity.

Nice to read your word, my friend (oh, Gosh, sounded like John McCain there, sorry)

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: November 15, 2008 )

johnjohndoe
Your poem is a cordial mix of jocular prankster meets pernicious casualty.

( Posted by: MrSmith [Member] On: November 23, 2008 )

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