Terminus
by AuldMiseryGuts (Member) - published: November 12, 2008
Word Count: 92 Word Bytes: 801 Viewed: 236 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by AuldMiseryGuts

0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

The gulls are screaming
Like girls

Like girls and somebody
Were pulling
Their hair out at its roots.

You are wearing
Black boots

You are throating
A song,
You are walking

And an ultimatum
Swallows you

And you are not
Surprised.

The sea is a Freudian slip
The griefed gulls feather
Unhappily

You do not have on
Your wedding ring
And your love
Looks daggers at mine.

We hull a silence shiftlessly
You wear black boots
You are walking

Shoreline begs
To differ

Your knuckles are busted
You’re secretly darkened.

------
The human race, the only race I know where everybody loses.

Related Items

Saint Steven’s

scenery

inferapenny

works

the ballad of Dear Boy and Old Man

no longer

game

junked

ladylump

well hung

More by AuldMiseryGuts »

Comments

The following comments are for "Terminus"
by AuldMiseryGuts

Hesitation
Unsure of where one stands to the other, I think. Beautiful vignette. I waited for (him?) to take (her?) hand, understood why he didn't, wanted to know what had happened between them.

Thought-provoking stew of emotion and possibility here.

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: November 13, 2008 )

union Square
Reminds me of walking on 14th street in NY. I try to advoid that place but work calls.

Thanks for the poem. The black boots is what gets me as well.

The galloping on marble is as good as the fire engines roaring pass you on ninth ave.

CR

( Posted by: NucleusFire [Member] On: November 16, 2008 )

thanking four
Rogan, “nice boots, wanna fuck?” made me laugh ‘til it hurt. as chat up lines go at least it gets to the point… I was hoping for a bit more tension that that, a kind of cold stale-mate between both parties, trapped, as they were, with and by each other, and in an unsympathetic landscape where flourishing of any kind is too little too late when it happens. I imaged they moved there to be alone, only to find that’s exactly what they got. be careful what you wish for, hu…?

little kids still call me “goth” in the street, or “Edward Scissorhands” I get that a lot… just sharing, you know…

Chloe, your comment made me laugh too. which is good. today’s been a sack of shite and onions so far, so I’m taking my giggles where I can get ‘em… I love the ocean too, but there are times it’s a like a mirror to the soul, and often times my soul is cold and unforgiving… y’ know it’s supposed to be lucky if a seagull craps on ye… in which case I have the luckiest bike in the history of the world… thank you for stopping by, and keep posting those kus, they’re good stuff…

Viper, thank you kindly, most of all for “Thought-provoking”. what happened is probably another poem. watch this space, as they say…

CR, here’s to dark horses, galloping on marble. cheers all. síochán.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: November 16, 2008 )

The sea is a Freudian slip
Having just maundered on to you (at my own current post) about failures of human connection and the poignant poetic possibilities therein... I come to read this, and find I needn't have bothered. You clearly know exactly what I'm on about. This poem - although yes, it lacks a definite storyline - is full of the bleakness of two people not-really-together.

The setting is perfectly judged (if only because it affords you that cool 'Freudian slip' line!) And the spare jump-cuts between descriptions of beach-walking (black boots, squabbling gulls) and abstracts (the ultimatum that swallows you, and you are not surprised - which is a fantastic image)... those work really well.

When I reach the end, however, I want the shoreline to have the last word. I guess I don't understand the significance of the busted knuckles, or what exactly those 2 lines add to the narrative, so I find the final couplet unnecessary. Might it be more neatly circular to have the poem begin and end with the indifferent windswept beach; human drama all played out and left behind now? Pan out and fade to black, as it were.

( Posted by: MobiusSoul [Member] On: November 18, 2008 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Login:
Password:

Staff Blogs: