Disentitled
by windchime (Member) - published: September 29, 2008
Word Count: 81 Word Bytes: 586 Viewed: 297 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by windchime

(1 votes)

Rating	Rated by

8	chapter1

You must login to vote

I could have had roof gardens,
volatile freedoms,
instead of having you
but
why am I even using
a vocabulary of possessives?

We pick out loves, young,
as we do comforts
that come in colours
& once in a while
something stays put
long enough
to earn a death: we are
pilgrims riding ferries
along tearducts
repeatedly.

And what of that one love,
that one insane joy?
It goes to those
who know
how to wait & not wait
at once.

------
Of all known institutions, I attend only two: church, in my heart, and school, in yours. Both are subject to demolition. - Lucie Adams, 2007
It is only for poetry to know how many stanzas fit into one caress. - Lucie Adams, 2008

Related Items

Suspension

Unworthy wordy villanelle

Department store

Lecture (h)all

More by windchime »

Comments

The following comments are for "Disentitled"
by windchime

from possessive to attentive
big difference, but easy to confuse. love how vocabulary of possessives are abandoned in favour of vocabulary of attentives. attentive to youth, attentive to love, attentive to life, attentive to moment. I love that most of all, attentiveness to moment, which requires both patience and eagerness and which reminded me that infinity embraces us at both ends…

having been a pilgrim “…riding ferries/ along tearducts/ repeatedly…”as much as anyone else, those lines strike and stick particularly. pilgrims are, of course, making a journey to access the sacred…

thank you, Lucie, for the beauty of this. and for the wisdom too. I have missed you, I can’t tell you how much.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: September 30, 2008 )

Of volatile freedoms
Lucie... I like your new signature (or perhaps it is not so new - I've been absent, after all). It is emminently quotable. 'Both are subject to demolition.' I recently learned of a Chinese character frequently inscribed on condemned buildings in Chinese cities... it is as visually pleasing as most Chinese script and reading your quote, I mentally inscribed it on my own metaphysical institutions.

OK, on to your poem. I'm usually reluctant to dissect your highly accomplished work, but with this one... several lines I loved were directly followed by lines I didn't, leaving me rather conflicted. The opener 'roof gardens... volatile freedoms' evoked adventure, romance, heat and dust in some NorthAfrican citadel... wonderful. I didn't want to hear in the next line that this was going to be a poem about 'what I gave up for love'.

Then in the next stanza, it turned out not be. Everything up to 'long enough to earn a death' seemed entirely right: reflective and wise. You encompass decades with few words. I can't exactly put my finger on what fell clumsily in 'we are pilgrims riding ferries along tearducts repeatedly' ... the ferries? the tearducts? This is the right sentiment, but somehow not the way I would have put it. (Entirely personal - Shannon, above, seems to like that part.)

In any case, the final stanza returns to bell-like clarity. Knowing neither how to wait nor how not to wait in felicitous synchrony, I nevertheless see exactly what you mean.

( Posted by: mobiussoul [Member] On: September 30, 2008 )

~Disentitled~ by Lucie......
This is so perfectly stated:

"It goes to those
who know
how to wait & not wait
at once."

You put into words what cannot be understand by mere words, yet you did it. For all there is is this moment we are in right now, there is no there or here or then or now, there is only one moment, all time in one time, again, getting into my whole M-theory physicist thing, and also goes with Kabbalah and Tibetan Buddhism. I could go on a whole very long thing about this and dissect it and bore you to death in the process but I won't, I will leave at, this IS beautiful...

...and so much deeper than meets the reading.

All love,
your friend,
Lena

( Posted by: TheRealKarmaTseringLhamo [Admin] On: October 1, 2008 )

windchime..of " insane joy"....
..indeed.

Lucie,
Glad to experience VOICE again...As per usual, a highly enjoyable read.

One to return to..

Ciao,
Robert William

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: October 1, 2008 )

Disentitled
Tragedies, how very well you could tell stories about it. A tragedy in each stanza, every one of which I could relate with... and surprisingly even with the last one, that which talks about one love lost.. or maybe not yet as I still see it hanging around but only barely.

Advertisers make their products colorful and lovely so we consumers get to pick them out. And so being young, and foolish, one selects what they think are hip, good-looking for them to be seen with, disregarding what really are essential... (What the hell am I saying LOL)... until... UNTIL... the fad dies down! But it's inevitable, really, in that moment a trend has got to be followed you could just think about that one true and stupidly blissful for later on (one would appear waiting for it but in fact he made it wait for him, such a snob huh?!)

Thank you for this beautiful poem, Lu. I heard you are not so well, healthwise. i hope you are okay now.

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: October 16, 2008 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Login:
Password:

Staff Blogs: