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Today I Revoke my Vows
**********************
For thousands of days and nights
I wandered
In the Desert of Loneliness
Then as if by magic
an oasis appeared
before my unbelieving eyes
They called her "holy one"
She was the village's witch
She owned the well
And the people
who would there dwell
She was happy to see me
She said in tears
"I waited for your coming
for so many years"
... (?)
weird faces and masks
of men ...
Were hung all-over the walls
Of her dark tent
She showed me kindnesses
Beyond belief
Then one day she asked me
For the relief
She became two hundred years younger
That you wonder
How she suddenly became so sexy, as if
her blood came from the fire of hell itself
I drowned in her own well
of love and palm-tree liquor sips
That she would drink from my lips
Once while we were making love
She said, "Daddy!," and winked
"you do me so hard,
So hard as hell,
with all of your body and heart
but for my well,
...
can I keep your soul?
She made me swear allegiance to her
And give her my solemn vows
For love,
eternal
Unconditional
During another of those nights
she was clutching the pillow so angrily
as if she was irritated by the climax of pleasure,
pain and joy
which she could never get by herself
even with her own toy
she kept squeezing the pillow
which I noticed
was getting smaller and smaller
till it turned into a tiny piece of cloth
like a small hand towel
in her angry fists
she had that corner bone
of a man
in her hands
and under what was a pillow
I saw a metal thing
A key?
Life went on
Sweet as it could be
But every now and then
She would make me taste her pain
Mixed with a bitter drink
When she would go and hide
For hours or days
Saying she had some visitors
From the neighboring lands
Or that she fell asleep
Under a palm tree
Then on the first ray
Of the fifty ninth day
She woke me up saying
Now you must be gone
Where would I go?
I didn't know
anyplace else
she led me to the well
And nodded
I sat down
And without even knowing why
tears started to flow
from a scar above one eye
which she slit
then made me tilt
my numb drunken head
closer to the well
And when I felt too dry
Emptied out
By the flow of my own tears
I lowered the bucket
And took a sip of water
from the well
It was salty
Bitter as hell
and suddenly I realized
I was surrounded
by so many tiny creatures
Dwarfs?
Little dwarfs
around the well
One young boy had marks
Which one gets
When one slits
One's own wrists
Who are these sketchy souls?
And what are they doing here?
Is it possible they spilled
One too many a tear?
and now I realized
why the water of the well appeared
so damn salty!
It was a well of bloody tears
My own tears
And the tears of so many others
Who, enslaved at the oasis
in their pain and longing,
were dwarfed
by their own fears
of the nasty witch
I freaked out
Trying to escape
But my vows turned into metal shackles
Chaining me to a golden ring
Fixed to the walls
Of the well
But suddenly
I remembered the key
Which I had snitched after that night
From under her pillow
Oh, please God!
I got the key out
Slipped it into the padlock
I was not surprised
When I was freed
You bloody evil witch
You pretended to be my bitch
Sweet and kind
With a smiling twitch
Today, I revoke my vows
Today, I am no longer
One of your cows
whom you milk
for painful tears
To feed your bloody bitter well
I never went back to her tent
To tell her those words
For you never know
The kinds of tricks
Which evil witches
Keep
In their tents
I was just relieved to be free
.
.
.
And as I was leaving
I caught a glimpse of a ghost
Arriving to the Oasis
I wanted to warn him
But I knew he would never listen
.
.
.
And as the sight of the Oasis
Behind my shoulders
Would develop into an ocean of sand
Endless emptiness would expand
To fill my head
as I started making my way
Through the desert
Alone
As one should be
In the Desert of Loneliness
.
.
.
© Wael Nawara, 2008
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Genesis of a Bad Day
