just a looser
by najwanajati (Member) - published: September 22, 2008
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Just a looser. That exactly what I am. I am trying to trace reasons behind this fact; but useleslly. one reason might be Iam so passionate. second might be rush; whenever I see a chance to improve my life; I take it immediatly. then it proves to be false.
I work hard, so hard indeed, and beleive someday one Golden Cloud will stop on my head; this day never comes. one day, one of my step brother's freinds called me to work for him and assist in his project. may promises he gave me. I worked for two months, got nothing but promises. something in my heart said to me he is lier, but I prefered to follow his promises to end. then he gave the position to another person not half qualified like me, because he accepted less salary. once a man sent me an email; said he is lookign for translators online and will pay USD 25 for a page I agreed, I did four jobs for him, I got nothing till now.
Am I a silly person? or just a looser? I don't know. why should I meet only false persons? or life is just like that?
I feel so bad. even my faith started to be worse everyday.
I wish I am not so good heart as I am in fact, just to discover how should I protect myself from false people who don't keep their words and promises.
I hate myself; that is all
Najwa

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najwanajati

Comments

The following comments are for "just a looser"
by najwanajati

Not because of others
The world is an ugly place so more often than it is beautiful. BUT that is only when we make it that way. (Listen to my dumb ass giving advice right now.) You may just want to ignore me!

Here's my thought. And this is what I have to KEEP reminding myself...

We know not all are good. And even though we choose to BE the good when dealing with others that we know are not of good/honest intentions...who can we really blame for our hurt when things do not go the way we want?

A good man gives just because. So when the gift of our giving is abused we have only two choices, we can be like them and be hateful or we can continue to be the good we've already chosen. But in TRYING to be that good I've found that I cannot blame another for my being offended in who they are, I knew it when I gave. And neither can I blame them for MY choice to give..no matter what the results are.

You seem to BE the good. And no doubt this will NOT be the last time your goodness is taken for granted. But don't let that stop you from being who you are. And don't let the fact that your choice to be the good when dealing with these others cause you resentment. It is your choice and it comes with a price to pay. You've paid your price in this instance now hang onto your good and move on.

( Posted by: TAMMYHENDRIX [Member] On: September 22, 2008 )

Thank you all
Dear all,
when I wrote that I was trying to have a connection with somebody anybody to speak to, I did not imagin anyone will care or even read1 it is in deed behind my expectation to receive comments! for that I thank you all for being interested and caring, that makes me feel much better. sure, I will never change I know, I will go struggling to the end, I understand very deeply that it is better to sleep as a victum better than sleep like a guilty. my consious is in peace and that what satisfy me. moments of weakness will pass soon and my strong will is the winner.
your words were of great help. many thanks.
Najwa

( Posted by: najwanajati [Member] On: September 23, 2008 )

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