Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
9

(2 votes)


RatingRated by
9Unknown
9Unknown

You must login to vote

Watching the clock,
fearing the worse.
Rape,assult,murder.
The hours roll by,
still no word.
This goes beyond breaking curfew.
Day turns to night,
night turns to day.
Still no word.
Reassurance from the authorities,
``she could be out having fun,
maybe she ran away.``
Yet I know deep inside of me,
the end has begun.
She was last seen
in the sexy white shirt,
and tight blue jeans.
Body to kill,
face of a beauty queen.
The phone rang one day,
forensics had some news.
Decomposing blonde,
with pretty baby blues.
Her throat had been slashed,
and her head was bashed in,
clothes torn away.
Insects making dinner of her skin.
What evil could have done this?
My daughter raped and slayed.
With three prior
date rape convictions.
Why did someone else need to pay?


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "The lesser evil"
by anya_awaits

heart wrenching
A truly amazing poem. If this is your genuine experience, it must have taken a fantastic amount of courage to write, let alone post it on a public forum like this.
To critique it simply as a piece of poetry seems harsh, but I'll give it a go:
I thought the first half (up to 'the end has begun') was much better poetically than the second; the build-up of tension early on is well written. The second half is also good, but the tension that had built up was detonated quite early, with the phone call, and the lines after that lose some of their power as a result. (having said that, they do still have considerably power nonetheless)
Overall though, it's an awesome poem. Score 9/10.

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: March 5, 2003 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: