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The tomato was a red-tinged sun;
Its light flew far to realms unknown.
Atomic kingdoms would dance in its glare
And every day a brilliant festival.
A million dancing on the head of a quark
And I know you see it not;
You're busy thinking with closed mouth.
But I see it, I do; and
I know the tomato does too.

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The following comments are for "Sub-Atomic Carnival"
by Washer

I'm really digging your stuff so far....
Well then, that's the second piece of yours that I've read. You've certainly got a flair for the surreal.
I'm in the process of putting up some poems myself. I just submitted one called Scorch earlier tonight.
It's good to read stuff from writers that seem to be coming from vaguely the same direction as me. There's nothing like a fellow traveller.

( Posted by: Lorax [Member] On: April 21, 2003 )

As Lorax said, you have a flair for the surreal. It's got to be one of the most unusual poems I've read in ages.

The fourth line felt like it might be a syllable too long, but other than that I can't fault it.

Score 8/10... no, make that 9/10 - an extra point just for the audacity of writing a poem like this. :-)

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: April 21, 2003 )

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