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Joy [ A Poem ]


I would like to tell you about the things,
Which joy to my little heart brings.
Itís not diamonds, emeralds, rubies,
Silver or even gold;
Itís just simple little things of both
New and old.
The joy I get when I see the water
Spring from a beautiful fountain,
The joy get when I see a lotus lake
After I climb and come down a mountain.
The joy I get when I see the formation of the rainbow in the blue sky;
when I see dragon flies and butter- flies touch me and fly.
The joy I get when I help someone in
The joy I get when I have a glimpse
of the Suní first or last ray.
The joy I get when I receive a distant
Friendís mail;
Just to sit on the rock near shore and watch the boats and ships sail.

By : - G.S.Vasukumar.


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The following comments are for "Joy [ A Poem ]-Vol-I"
by g.s.vasukumar

smoothing out
A nice poem, with some very nice touches, and delightful descriptions.
As a whole though, it doesn't quite seem to flow as smoothly as it should do; there are a few lines that just seem too long, and some of the break-points between lines seem slightly off. Nothing serious enough to detract from the piece in any major way, but with the upbeat message of the piece, it really ought to be a smoother read. :-)
Score 7/10.

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: March 5, 2003 )

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