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This is the best chapter, I personally think. I'd love to hear your feedback =).
Étienne was sitting in the waiting room at the Hospital. He had just been seen by his doctor and was waiting for his results.
“Étienne?” The nurse called him from the waiting room. He came into a small medical exam room where the doctor was waiting.
“Well, We’ve ran almost every test there is, but, well… We just can’t seem to find anything wrong. I’m really sorry.”
“What can I do?” Étienne asked in a very annoyed voice. He has had it with all these tests and no answers.
“The only thing I can suggest is for you to see a psychiatrist,” the doctor handed Étienne a referral slip to a psychiatrist who worked at the hospital. “Call him, he’s very good. This could be something that is mentally based. He will advise you on what you can do. Call him and schedule an appointment.” Étienne took the paper reluctantly. He wasn’t at all thrilled by the idea of talking to a psychiatrist, but he was also desperate. He took it, gave the doctor his famous fake smile, and walked out causally, holding in his desperate feelings.
That night, after Étienne has been to his mothers, he met with this new stranger. His name was Jay. They met at one of the medium style restaurants in town. They discussed everything, from books, to movies, to technology, to everything. There was no limit. After dinner Jay invited Étienne over to his place.
The thought appealed to Étienne. He would love to go over there. He was totally in love, he thought to himself. This new person really understands him. They share much in common. Jay has been cheated on many times, as is Étienne currently. But, Étienne was still in a relationship. A long term commitment at that. And he must not sink as low as Jamie. He declined, very hesitantly of course, and they both went their separate ways. Jay walked to his car; the look on his face was disappointment as he would be going home alone tonight. But, also a look of understanding.
“Wait!” Étienne called spontaneously to Jay as he opened the door. Jay stopped and looked. “How about, we meet again tomorrow. Say, same place, same time? Or, rather how about I pick you up?”
“That’d be wonderful!” Jay replied trying not to seem to excited.
“Perfect, see you than!” Étienne walked to his car, also trying not to show his excitement. He got in and drove off.
When Étienne returned home, it was late. 11:00 pm. He noticed the alarm system was disarmed. He set it to the exterior mode and walked up the giant stairs. When he came into the bedroom, Jamie was gone. A letter lay on the bed.
“Hey honey, You didn’t come home so I figured you were out with your friends. I decided to accept on an invitation to a bar with some friends. Don’t wait up; I may not be home till very early. I love you lots! Love, your Jamie”
Étienne knew. He knew that he was out with his “affair buddy”. But this time, he didn’t care. He switched into his night clothes and crawled into bed. It was a cold night. It was December 15th and this year, he had nothing special planned for Christmas. That was odd, as he always planned something special for Jamie and him. But not this year. He soon drifted off to sleep.
It was cold. He was stuck in, what appeared to be a forest. It was green, but yet, snow lay on the ground. There was snow falling all around him. He looked around in a panic and confusion. He had no idea where he was or how he got there. He ran a bit. The thick, green trees made it difficult to move much. He started breathing heavy and his fast jaunt became a run. The trees were so think and heavy. It was so strenuous to run through. He started moaning and yelling a bit in panic. He ran both ways. Trees everywhere. He ran and ran and ran. He felt a tree wrap around his legs, then his arms and then finally his neck. He let out a desperate cry. Then, he woke up.
The clock read 3:42 am. Étienne was sweating. This was a common dream now that he has been having for some time. He looked over and saw Jamie sleeping beside him. He looked again to the clock. Then, he looked out the window. A heavenly, gentle coat of snow was falling. It was very thick and very white and was very relaxing to watch. Étienne pulled off the covers from his body and tip-toed out of the bedroom, careful not to make any sound to wake Jamie.
Jay lay in bed, staring out the window at the heavenly snow falling. He looked at his clock. It read 3:44 am. He couldn’t stop thinking about Étienne. What is he doing now? Is he still awake? Maybe thinking about him? Maybe sleeping. Maybe with another person. Who knew?
Christy was sitting in a chair, in the hospital. She was sitting by the bed of the very girl who stole Josh from her. Beside that, a clock that read “3:46 am”. She couldn’t help but feel sad for her. She lies there, in her deep coma. God knows what she was thinking. What happens when people are in comas?
Étienne walk out the back door. The lawn was covered with a fresh, unmarked snow cover. The trees that surrounded it were also totally white. The bright clean unmarked snow reflected the light of the full moon. It made it appear much lighter. At the end of the lawn sat a bench with two lamp posts on either end. The only source of light, next to the moon, were these two lamp posts which seemed to be self illuminated, as Étienne hadn’t flicked the switch to turn them on. But, never the less, they sat there, by the bunch, turned on. Étienne began to walk through the heavenly white snow. He had not changed his clothes. He was bear foot, wore his white, thin muscle shirt and his thin, white pyjama bottoms. He blended in with the snow. Pure. He didn’t even tremble as his bear feet touched the fresh, clean layer of snow. The snow from the falling heavens drifted calmly on his body.
Jay couldn’t get over his thoughts. He looked on his night table. There, lied a piece of paper with Étiennes mobile. “Should I?” he thought to himself. He decided against. But, the thought tormented him. He was, like Étienne, in love.
Christy, with many thoughts traveling through her mind, looked up at this girl. Her name was Carmen. She was bruised badly and cut all over. She lye there, covered in wires and with oxygen being pumped into her damaged body. Her heart rate monitor beeping in rhythm. Christy looked over to the night table. A photo of Josh lye there. Her sadness soon turned to anger.
Étienne sat down on the bench. The bench, too, was covered with a fresh layer of white snow which his pyjama pants did little to protect him from. He didn’t seem to realize the cold. He sat there, looking out at the St. Laurence river (his house was build on the river) which still flowed with a calming fury while the snow fell into it. On the opposite side was all white. White was covered everywhere. A thoughtful, sad, pain filled, empty face was present on Étienne as he looked out to the river. In his hands, he held a bottle of Antidepressants that his doctor had prescribed to him in hopes of some improvement in his symptoms. Étienne slowly opened the lid. Once it was open, he dropped the lid on the ground. The white lid almost disappeared into the snow. He slowly tilted the bottle and watched as all the tiny, red pills spilled out in to the snow, where they disappeared underneath the white, fresh layer of snow.
So many thoughts filled Christy’s mind. Why would this happen to him? Sure, he could be a jerk sometimes, but he was really a nice guy. Usually. She couldn’t understand it. Just then, Carmen jerked her head and her eyes twitched.
Jamie opened his eyes and realized Étienne was gone. He slowly got out of bed and looked around. He saw a dull light coming from the hallway. He slowly got up and opened the door. “Étienne?” He called in a whispering voice. Nothing. At the far end of the hall a light was present. It was coming from the office. The door was half opened and a dull, greyish light was illuminating from the room. He walked over to it and opened the door. The light was coming from the laptop computer that sit on Étienne’s desk. He walked over to it. It was odd for it to be on so late. Jamie bent over to turn it off when he noticed a multimedia icon on the desktop that read “Jamie and Étienne Cruise to Panama”. Jamie got curious. He sat down on the chair. Jamie scrolled over to the icon and double clicked it.
Étienne lied his whole body down on the bench. Some of the snow fell off. He slowly put his head down and it made an indentation which perfectly fit Étienne’s head. He slid his hands slowly under his pyjama bottoms and closed his eyes. He wasn’t cold at all. In fact, the coolness soothed him.
Just as he double clicked it, a media window opened at a slideshow of pictures and videos from their trip to Panama in 2006. They looked so happy. There were pictures of them cuddling, holding hands, kissing, smiling, everything. The images and videos filled Jamie with much emotion. He never really thought about how they used to be and how they were now. He thought maybe he took life for granted a bit. The pictures began to overwhelm him and tears began to come to his eyes.
Étienne was jerking off intensely on the bench. The white snow seemed to fall even harder then before. It feel on him and the warmth of his body soon melted it. He thrusted his pelvis up in the air, anchoring him to the bench with his head and feet. He formed an arch while he jerked off, thrusting up and down, up and down.
In the hospital Christy stood over Carmen. Her head moving and her eyes twitching. “How does it feel? How does it feel?” She demanded in a demanding tone. “You’re all alone in there, seeking support from others. Seeking for attention. You wanted to find something. You wanted to feel something. It’s hard for anyone to feel anything in their life. How does it feel now you little slut?”
Étienne began even more intense. His breathing was very intense now and as he exhaled, a big puff of air was visible from the cold. He was overwhelmed with feelings. He was desperate. He was sad. So many feelings flooded him.
The slideshow continued to play, reminding Jamie more and more of his past. Reminding him more and more of how happy he was. He made a big mistake. Étienne was real. He loved him. Why would he do such a stupid thing? Why?
“I hope you’re proud of yourself. I hope you are. You have really accomplished much. You have everything to be proud about. You are in reality now. Reality, where there is no what if’s and maybe’s. Now, you have felt something. Feel lucky, as no one ever has the privilege to feel anything in their life.”
Étienne could feel a major pressure build up in his head, in his body. The emotions, the pain, the cold. Everything. He breathed and moaned hard. The two lamp posts that illuminated the bench and Étienne began to flicker.
By this time, Jamie was totally in tears. The slideshow was touching to him and showed him that everything he has done with anyone else was a mistake. He loved Étienne. A desk lamp that Jamie has turned on started to flicker now.
The lights in the hospital began to flicker off and on. Christy totally ignored it. She didn’t even realize it.
Jay looked out at the city and saw lights clicker. He felt a strong breeze of snow and cool air blow by him. It made him feel touched. He couldn’t even think of the feeling, it just felt like he was in heaven.
Carmen’s eyes began to open. “Don’t look at me! Don’t look at me!” Christy screamed. The lights flickered even harder.
Étienne jerked off faster and faster. The lights flickered more intensely. The wind picked up as did the snow. It blew pas him violently and making a loud, defining, howling sound. “Shut up. SHUT UP!” He yelled and he let out a horrible scream. The scream, more violent than a man being stabbed. A scream indescribable. The lights finally went out. The whole city blacked out.
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