Gone Wrong
by nae411 (Member) - published: April 25, 2007
Word Count: 92 Word Bytes: 818 Viewed: 856 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by nae411

(4 votes)

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10	ArsPoet2789ica

10	daprdan

10	JEANNIE45

10	wanda

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Streams
of acid
flow
through these veins
carrying venom
I can’t
turn away from.
Something
is more wrong
than I’ll admit to.
Call it intuition
jealousy
rage
it's all the same.
A fondue
of
bitter anguish,
taking me
to a place
I can’t afford to go
right now.

Do I trust it
and let this voice
that has never betrayed me
take over?

Silencing it
is not an option.
Honesty took
a wrong turn
while
these words
lay dormant.
Lies
betrayal
seep in
weeding,
taking control
of this path
gone wrong.

------
I am on a journey. Looking for Me. Everyday I get a little closer. The more time goes by the more I realize I'm always changing. This journey could take forever... Renae L. Soler

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Comments

The following comments are for "Gone Wrong"
by nae411

Gone Wrong
Wow Nae! Powerful stuff...Get it all out and don't let the bubble stew eat your liver...Doesn't hurt anyone but YOU...Glad to see you posting again...Kacee

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: April 25, 2007 )

Gone Wrong
I'll second that "wow", if I may? I know this feeling, and it's told here with immediacy and impact... a raw poem, this, but highly-strung and tightly wound rather than self-indulgently sprawling... feelings let loose with skill and passionate aplomb... nice to read a post from you too.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: April 25, 2007 )

comment re: Gone Wrong
I especially like the line about the voice, and how IT never betrayed you.

The poem, taken as a whole, it implies that you at least suspect the object of your affection (and now your frustration and pain) of betrayal. You suspect that it's either happened already, or will happen in the near future.

It sounds like infidelity.

It's very raw, very powerful, and very good.

Thanks for sharing.

( Posted by: rajengineer [Member] On: April 25, 2007 )

Fangs?!
I love the snake bite imagery that you used at the beginning of the poem; it gripped me from the beginning.

-ArsPoet2789ica

( Posted by: ArsPoet2789ica [Member] On: April 26, 2007 )

been there!
Nae, this is not what I expected from you, but I love the immediacy, the frenetic pace of unsurety of who or what to believe when a seed of doubt creeps in. The acid in the veins was a great image and spot on to the feelings here of suspected betrayal. Nice write, and nice to see you post-
blessings-
Elizabeth

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: April 27, 2007 )

Thank you!
I appreciate the feedback. I haven't written much lately and this one was burning so much it just came out. I know feelings of jealousy/anger hurt like hell but at least I got some words for my trouble.

Hugs,
Nae ;0)

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: April 27, 2007 )

Way to go Nae!
Just peeked in to see what you guys have been up to lately, and what do I find?.....this absolute gem from you nae!! I see you haven't lost your touch, which is more than I can say for myself.

I'm sad to see so many familiar faces absent...could it be that our collective muses are vacationing together? In any event...this was a delight to read!

Love ya
Bea

( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: April 27, 2007 )

hi nae
Hello nae, I know that voice... heard it many times, saddly. Great poem... maybe it will inspire me to get off my duff and write one again. Lord knows I need to.

( Posted by: nauticus66 [Member] On: April 28, 2007 )

But It Feels Right...
This is a very powerful statement, very concise, with just the right amount of conjecture to leave the meaning open to ones imagination, use good judgment in who or what you point that at.

( Posted by: daprdan [Member] On: April 30, 2007 )

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