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There is no I today;
Asking if [you] want [me]
I lose myself to [you]

This action without form
Leaves some[thing] lacking
[You] press against me
Like [he] did
(Substitutions are easy
when happenings are
violently torn from memory
and replaced with something
less characteristic of [you] and [me])

The way [you] look at [me]
Makes [me] feel like a walking
Obscenity.
[I] tell [you] yes without thinking.

------
She falls softly down from towering pedastools...


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The following comments are for "A Walking Obscenity"
by shefallssoftly

Obscenity
There is an interesting tripartite spiraling process at work in this poem:
the wide base of the spiral is that which lives inside the parenthesis explaining substitutions;
the spiral narrows to that which is contained between the mostly you and I hooks, and this midsection of the spiralling process is perfect for the business of "getting lost": here, the reader can decide that there are many you & I's, only one you and only one I or no you and I at all any more;
the spiral narrows to a single point, which is any free text without parentheses; if this free text is read without the rest of the process, there is enough density to tie it all into a knot, and the obscenity becomes absurdity.

Nice piece of work, for its process.

( Posted by: windchime [Member] On: February 14, 2006 )





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