A Poet's Proposal
by A. Cain (Member) - published: August 24, 2005
Word Count: 182 Word Bytes: 1299 Viewed: 493 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by A. Cain

0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

Anger is those heavy consonants
I never seem to muster
I find the sharp metallic spitting slitting decapitating one liners
Suffice my point more often
Than is not the case, you chased
Me down a trail of razor blades I left like scent
Sadistic patchouli
To harm you
And deter attempts of saviour
You still loved me
When we both collapsed upon the road
Bloody and congealing, kneeling, needing
Each other's home to rest us
The moment I brushed your flesh
Tears warmed and cooled simultaneously
Old wounds. We submitted
To the sweetheart and the rapist
Locking eyes of trust, distrust, disgust and lust-filled knowledge
Familiarity, a home
We'd drained ourselves escaping
Still home. Still hatred. Still love.
Like we'd never felt it slither
Ruined from our grasp.
Nothing has torn our entangled limbs
And nothing will, like blood and the spirit level
Distance knocks all balance
So we remain
And the razor blades, that litter still the mutual path
And nick our persistent steps
Will surely thin and fade, brave we the walk
To future, softened, with loyalty and trust

------
The answer to EVERYTHING!!!:- The Cycle.
Spread the word man!

Related Items

Today Is Judgement

Hooked

Away

To My Omnivorous Lovers

Modern Slave Of Man

She, The Sound Of The Opening Lager Can

Whispers

To The Young Who Drown At Sea

Gay Girl Illusions

Butterfly - No More The Pure Sweet Innocent

More by A. Cain »

Comments

The following comments are for "A Poet's Proposal"
by A. Cain

"with" love
love hurts, and yet most of the wounds themselves are self inflicted, it's an addiction, that few will admit....I loved the structure of this, and you did a great job, it's a wonderful write and yet one word change would make it twice as good.....peace

So we remain
And the razor blades, that litter still the mutual path
And nick our persistent steps
Will surely thin and fade, brave we the walk
To future, softened, with loyalty and trust

change the first word in the second line to "with"

So we remain
with the razor blades, that litter still the mutual path
And nick our persistent steps
Will surely thin and fade, brave we the walk
To future, softened, with loyalty and trust

( Posted by: poetryman [Member] On: August 25, 2005 )

Poetryman
Thankyou, Fairplay and poetryman, for your comments and advice.

The amendment suggestion, though, I feel would take all sense out of the following lines.. if read as a sentence the sense is a little clearer:-

And the razor blades that nick our persistent steps will surely thin and fade...

"And" replaced with "with" would take all sense from the line unless there was a word shuffle.

Thanks again for the comments

A. Cain

( Posted by: A. Cain [Member] On: August 25, 2005 )

Proposal
"Anger is those heavy consonants
I never seem to muster."

Beautious write

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: August 25, 2005 )

A.Cain/ Nicked
Nicely done. Enjoyed read.

Will have to find more of your posts.
Robert William

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: August 26, 2005 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Login:
Password:

Staff Blogs: