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Your need to be free
has crushed me
and everything I built
upon your captivity.
You were the metaphor
but what now?
I can’t just let your leaving
Strip you of all meaning–
You’ve changed me
and my perceptions
and now you’ve left me grasping
at the straws
trying to understand
what now the story means–
If you were innocence
and love and caring
and I nurtured
then I could comprehend
your meaning
and quantify your being.
But you have crushed my simile!
You have made it mean
a brutal truth
I always knew
but didn’t want it to be.
You have exposed me
without permission
and let the world know the truth
I don't want to have to choose–
I always used to think the verse
would write in tears upon my cheek
for all the world to see, and speak
of troubled girls in perfect worlds–
You were the secret,
and now there are memories all around
Each begging for a meaning,
And I know
when Karma comes knocking
you answer. You deceived me.
There was a simple truth between us
and you have betrayed it,
forced me back into the Complex
a world I’m not ready to re-know
because I don’t understand the meaning!
How could you drown while I was breathing?
just waiting for me
to turn my back on you–
the water should be accepting,
remember? It’s the only force
that doesn’t mold your being
You shape it! You have shown me
the form of death, now how can I, afraid, answer it?
You were my nothing and everything
so small and all-consuming,
you were my faith and my esteem
my pride and now my pain.
And I forgive you–
I can see you flying
free from the constraint of surviving
Glorious for just one moment
I know that it was worth the pain.
------
She falls softly down from towering pedastools...
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