"Pearl of Wisdom"
by drsoos (Member) - published: November 3, 2004
Word Count: 180 Word Bytes: 1236 Viewed: 2194 times
Category - Humor
© Copyright by drsoos

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“Pearl of Wisdom”

Lit.org

Donald Rumsfeld attempted to purchase the Pearl of Wisdom, the world’s largest gallstone, as a gift from Saddam Hussein to Saudi Arabia’s King Fahd to forge a “Brooklyn Bridge of Brotherhood” between the two authoritarian rulers, according to a report from the WeaklyWorldWeboLies.

Victor Barbash, a zombie slave trader and orchid merchant, was approached by two men with suitcases they told him contained millions of dollars, one of them “short and weasel-faced, like that war guy on TV.” They wanted to buy the Pearl of Wisdom for Saddam to give to Fahd, said Barbash.

Barbash, who owns 99 &44/100% of the stone, also speaks of a man named Lythroo Mateef, a Saddam representative at the bus station, who also claimed King Fahd was prepared to accept the pearl as a “pointless token gesture of false gratitude”.

Barbash has provided WeaklyWorldWebolies with a pile of used napkins scrawled with details regarding the purchase negotiations.

Barbash went on to say the two men also offered him “fantastic deals” involving Florida real estate and Nigerian bank accounts.

------

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesman and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do."

- Ralph 'Where's Waldo' Emerson

"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like. And I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."
- Bilbo Baggins

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Comments

The following comments are for ""Pearl of Wisdom""
by drsoos

pearls vs swine

To view WorldNetDaily “article” on the Pearl of Allah, go to:

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=41170

where you will also find other credible reports such as:

“KERRY SELECTED MOLESTER AS GODFATHER TO DAUGHTER!”

“SCOTTISH TOWN TO PARDON 81 WITCHES!”

“HOW CLINTON’S TEAM HID FLIGHT 800 ATTACK!”

“HOUSE OF HORRORS LEADS PEOPLE TO GOD!”

To view a news story from the Denver Business Journal detailing how Victor Barbish was swindled by the “Bin-Laden representatives” go to:

http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/2004/10/04/story4.html

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: November 4, 2004 )

dr, dr give me the news (sorry...)
Dr, you are too funny. I think this would be better appreciated a week ago, or a week from now. Time to lick wounds, I think. Or quietly give a nudge of content.lol
Please read my blog 'God Bless America'- only way to get it on the front page w/o my own even more blatant arrow-->ty and best thoughts to you-
Elizabeth

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: November 4, 2004 )

humorous investigation
very good analytical reporting for a comedy!

After the subject gets worn out, humor is the venue!

( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: November 7, 2004 )

humerus attack
Your comment cuts my flesh to the funnybone.

I was banned from timely pre-election publication lest my undeniable correctness sway the few receptive to my truth sufficiently to deny electoral victory to the corporate sponsors of inept imperialism.( I'm not neccessarily indisposed to ept{nod to Jabberwocky} imperialism, nothing wrong with America First if one can manage, unlike wiser predecessors, to avoid mucking it up.) Alas, deception rules the day as I lick my wounds and harem slaves while contemplating future pronouncements of my infallibit wisdom.

The post in question was slightly less out-of-date when originally posted than now, perhaps more stale than your fresh commentary.

If I may paraphrase a previous paraphrasing;

"Humor is the last refuge of sanity against the rule of scoundrels"

I will strive to provide incisive opinion, occaisionally in humorous form, while it's still warm and fresh from the oven.

Pillsbury doughboy, look out! My finger of wrath awaits your soft belly!

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: November 7, 2004 )

The Pearl
TRAIL OF TERROR
Bin Laden bedazzled
Saddam with jewel
$60 million Pearl of Allah
'evidence of al-Qaida link'

To view this item online, visit http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=41170

Friday, October 29, 2004

You should be ashamed for defaming such a fantastic patriotic man. You know nothing! and to spew these vicious remarks... Shame on you. It is disgusting.

I have been blessed to be friends with Victor Barbish. This is a fantastic man who has met many presidents in his lifetime, both Democrat and Republican. There wasn't a president he did not like and respect. In regard to the Hussein and Bin Ladin story: He interviewed with a Colorado reporter that came to his house for several hours weeks before the election. She assured him she would get the story out that following Saturday. She lied, and never printed it. He has tried to get the truth out, but this story kept getting squashed. This article, in fact, does not detail the entire story and chronology of events. The writer left out many details in the article. There is numerous authenticated documents in regard to these facts. It is important to know that it was unbenownst to Mr. Barbish for a long time who the actual buyer was. The brokers tried to keep the truth from him. When he found out who the real buyer was, there is no amount of money that they could offer him that would get him to sell to any terrorist. This is a fantastic patriotic man who loves his country and his government. He wanted the truth to be told to help our government that consists of both Democrats and Republicans. This is a man who treats all people equal. I am so disgusted with how people have commented and focused more on the appearance of The Pearl. This Pearl has a fathamous legend and history. The factual history was told by a direct descendant of Lao-Tse. This Pearl was created by Lao Tse, a great Chinese Philosopher who was tired of the unceasing evils of mankind and was retreating far from civilization. Before he departed, he carved on a sacred amulet "The Three Friends"-Buddha, Confucius and himself and gave this to a nephew to be placed in a clam. The pearl containing the sacred amulet was transplanted into ever larger Tridacna clams until the Pearl reached its present size. Unfortunately, a typhoon struck while it was on a trading ship off the shores of the Philippines and became lost. It was in 1934 that a diver was trapped in the clam and it was found by a Mohammadan tribal chief who when looking at the turbined face bearing the three friends on The Pearl called it "The Pearl of Allah". There is way more to the story and legend. The creation is a miracle. The Pearl is a historical, religious, spiritual artifact that has been so defamed on the internet it makes me sick that noone respects such a miracle of creation. How can one look at this and not see the true beauty that was created from the founder of Taoism whose "WAY" of life and path was for Peace?

Mr. Barbish has recently founded The Pearl For Peace Foundation to do good in this country and unite mankind in the mission of peace and freedom with safety and security. I can go on and on. But I merely wanted you to know that this story is the truth. Let the truth be known to help our country and government! God Bless America and bring Peace to all mankind! Signed, a Friend

( Posted by: friendofthepearlowner [Member] On: November 7, 2004 )

Dear Friend of Pearl Owner
I was satirizing the unreliable article which infuiates you so. I have no ill feelings toward Mr. Barbish, only, as you do, toward those who twisted the facts for their own purposes. Please take another look(and a chill pill). I also refer to a
story from a reliable source relating the unfortunate swindling of Mr, Barbish by the "Bin Laden" representatives. He is probably a very nice man, but trusted the wrong people.

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: November 8, 2004 )

fair weather friend?

I don't care if the "pearl" (picture if authentic resembeled calf's brain) was shat by Allah hisself.. the "Bin Laden reps" were bogus as well as the bankers in on the scam..

Mr. Barbish was a sucker on a hook: He NEVER saw "millions of dollars" he only believed those claiming so, I'm sure these guys never produced "Al Qeida union cards", he lost millons to swindlers with NOTHING TO DO WITH TERRORISM!!!!!!... unless you take the word of swindlers at face value.

I want a fawta that won't drive me crazy.

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: November 30, 2004 )

pearl
of wisdom

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: January 25, 2005 )

don't give in to pearl pressure
I loved it. A very fine satire with a bit of an attitude.

( Posted by: snuffystuff [Member] On: March 21, 2005 )

Soos strikes again!
I had to look back at your posts I've missed. I've been in Lit all morning, tasting this and that, but your stuff, my dear, is desert. Rich carrot cake with thick cream cheese frosting!

Yum...

Felicia

( Posted by: FeliciaStone [Member] On: September 27, 2005 )

pearl jam?

My posting above parodies an item posted just before the 2004 Presidential election:

http://www.lit.org/view/19657

This post makes more sense if you read that post first.

I'm reviewing my own posts. I thought this comment might help someone stumbling across this article way after the fact.

My comments on that other post above were never published. My comments and those of others on other posts went unpublished, and some earlier comments and posts were actually deleted. Explanations for this ranged from insulting to lame to nonexistent. (Comments at that time were reviewed and judged by moderators before publication. One of the moderators had published that very article.)

So I posted this, which sat in the queue until after the 2004 election.

I was prepared to quit the site, but Clairesbest (a respected moderator, at that time) convinced me to persevere.

I'm glad she did (and I did).

Just in case you were wondering...

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: March 29, 2006 )

fyi sos odb
Osama linked with Hussien
by Jessicanm (Supervisor) - published: October 29, 2004
Word Count: 213 Word Bytes: 1219 Viewed: 405 times
Category - Opinions
© Copyright by Jessicanm

Did you know that Osama bin Laden tried to buy the world’s largest pearl (Pearl of Allah) as a gift to Saddam Hussein in order to ‘unite the Arab cultures” and according to the owner of the wondrous pearl he was going to accept it.

Victor Barbish owns 66% of the pearl, and has told WorldNetDaily the he received as offer in 1999 from individuals who said they were from bin Laden’s group and wanted to buy the pearl for $60 million dollars (the 14 pound pearl is valued at only 40 million.) to give to Hussein as ‘an overture of unity between al-Qaida and the Iraqi government.

A man named Latif Faed, an Iranian immigrant, along with two friends Azad, and Amiri contacted Barbish saying they were a ‘direct connection’ to bin Laden’s people and that they would meet Barbish in Denver to verify he had the pearl and to place a $12 million deposit on the pearl.

Barbish also speaks of a man, Muhammed Faed, a contact for Hussein in London was involved in the negotiations and also claimed Hussein was prepared to accept the pearl as ‘a token of unity with bin Laden.’ Barbish has provided WorldNetDaily with a series of signed faxes detailing the status of the purchase.

------
Jessica@Lit.Org or Jessicamg@gmail.com

~How vain it is to sit down and write when you have not stood up to live.~

Henry David Thoreau

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: October 13, 2006 )

''Pearl of Wisdom''
Dr. soos has (or did have) the brass balls to bring it on.

Interesting and informative. If not informative, then we should all become politican's aides. Whom is in the know? This is as keen as the BBC. Only there is too much, again, to know.

I am not here to pay with cautious comments on the righteousness. Impressed, rather, by how you bring together all the parts and present the ingredients with dry buttoned-down wit, which cognites with soos portions as splendid prose.

When did these people's paths cross? Doesn't bear worth figuring, does it? The retort would be, what ever happened at Pearl Harbour? That being another pearl to bear in patience. Slandorous material to rote by.

firstedition

( Posted by: firstedition [Member] On: November 24, 2008 )

Brass Pair & Size 11's
I still got 'em. It just seemed as if the contest '08 was between two men of both principle and compromise, both of whom were compromised by powerful partisan women, one of whom stood a chance, the other representing a desperate grasp for the vote of disillusioned women.

Lest I forget, thanks for digging up this gem reflective of the lies of '04, and therefore somewhat representative of '00, when the Sublime Court played Peoples' Choice.

I was less involved this year because:

McCain is more principled than his campaign would suggest. I could live with him if he would do the same. Ms. Palin, however, pales..

Obama's election rejects Bush neocon world dominance, and the USA, being the last "European" country to reject slavery being first in electing a man of color to lead US- U.S.A., and therefore the world,or at least that portion willing to follow a true leader through troubles unimagined when his campaign started.

A concerted effort by world leaders will be neccessary to avoid worldwide economic (and other) misery. I think the USA has elected the right man to lead the world through this morass.

Propose a better system and perhaps by mutual acclaim it will supplant the present.

I see a violent evolution, or a peaceful revolution.

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: November 24, 2008 )

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