Your Tokyo
by wrdekle (Member) - published: May 31, 2004
Word Count: 87 Word Bytes: 651 Viewed: 767 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by wrdekle

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Your Tokyo

This is the city
In which you are no longer

Fled back now across the ocean

This is the city of ten million ghosts
Except you drifting among them
Like smoke

Every street intimately strange
Every face evolved without you
You knew once what it is
To own this city

But drifting further
Smoke among the ghosts
You realize
That this is the wrong city
You realize
You merely built a city once
Remarkably like this one
That dissolved behind you
When you left

------
I'd rather have permanent employment than be called fascinating

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Comments

The following comments are for "Your Tokyo"
by wrdekle

Tokyo
I like this very much. The same can be said of relationships, political careers, used car lots, anything. When you leave, you no longer own it. The ten million ghosts are great! Good stuff!

( Posted by: windchime [Member] On: May 31, 2004 )

Tokyo
I like this very much, too, and can't add any more than Windchime.

( Posted by: gomarsoap [Member] On: June 1, 2004 )

Your Tokyo
Dear William,

I started with this first one you posted here. It's kind of sweet to know there's just but the three of us yet who discovered this precious, beautiful and haunting poem. Too bad the others missed this. I especially like the ending part, the last words echo.

Peter Paulino

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: June 23, 2004 )

The Fade
I would like to understand your intentions for leaving "Your Tokyo" in the lines. Is it an accident that you left the title or do you want it repeated?

The choice of words is superb - smoke, ghosts, drifting, evolve, dissolve --- all signify a slow process of recollection and wretched angst. The only word that is not slow here is "fled" which is rather too swift a word for me. It's all good for me though since it was in a separate stanza and set the mood for the departure.

In the end we understand that this process of fleeing is one which is not swift; but one which is painful, slow, and undeniably inevitable. I like the way it's making me bite my teeth and sniff my way into melancholia.

( Posted by: webguy [Member] On: January 4, 2005 )

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