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My Wings

My wings are blackened
with the soot of My rage
Feathers dipped in honey
sealed inside a concrete cage.

My wings used to flutter
in free and fancy flight
Now are ripped and torn
shredded under the darkest night.

My wings now tattered
from the years of misuse
yet they still soar Me high
in spite of My self-abuse.

My wings are singed
from flying close to the flame
but shown off anyway
aa a symbol from whence I came.

My wings are faded
from the days in the sun
yet the vibrance within
has only just begun.

My wings of strength
have carried Me here
and to spite My troubles
I have left no fear.

AR 2002




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Comments

The following comments are for "My Wings"
by SinamonAngel

Your Wings...
Rough being here in this world isn't it...

But just knowing that it is only for a brief moment in our existance is reassuring, and almost tolerable in the present...

Good capture of our time here...

I liked this very much...

( Posted by: daprdan [Member] On: June 23, 2004 )

Wings
SinamonAngel;
It's been a while since I've read some of your work, although I like this one. It has an esoteric appeal to it.

Blessings,
{{{Jeannie}}}

( Posted by: JEANNIE45 [Member] On: June 23, 2004 )

Rhymes..
Angel:

You have something very powerful to say. I just think maybe your commitment to rhyming is holding you back. There are parts of this poem that scream, and then a couple of awkward pauses or halts in flow. What about trying some rhyme and some free verse within the same piece?? In other words, a rhyming stanza (or even just two lines) followed by some not-rhyming power statements.. Just a suggestion. I used to force my emotions and stories into forms and it took encouragement from folks like Jessica, Jasmine, and Bartleby to get me to stop. Try it. You never know. Perhaps this thing that it trying to escape from within you will spill out onto the page when you refrain from defining it by rhyme.

Excellent stuff, immeasurable talent, keep going.

-bd

( Posted by: Beautiful Disaster [Member] On: June 23, 2004 )





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