Home?
by how do i live with this shame (Member) - published: March 2, 2004
Word Count: 143 Word Bytes: 799 Viewed: 428 times
Category - Poetry
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as i sit upon my thinking steps
clouds wiping off my tears
birds telling me it will be all right
because i haven't felt this way in years
i want to be in a better place
a place i can call home
where the darkness always is
and no one else has known
in the woods behind my fearsin the rain disguising my tears
under the trees where no one will roam
an area i can call home
i won't be bothered
i won't be scared
i can be me with no one to care
dress how i like
act how i feel
live my life like a movie reel
cry to the moon
like a wolf in pain
dance and sing while in the rain
home is a place where darkness is seen
home is a place where i can be free

------
~trish~

dearest lord...thank you for my friends who care, the ones who help me when i have the smallest look of sorrow on my face. <3.

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Comments

The following comments are for "Home?"
by how do i live with this shame

Your Poems
I read your poems. They are sad ones. But I feel they're true. And I am very sorry. I will read whatever you write. Because you're important in this world, and I want you to know that. You will always have a face in this world. You can talk to me, I would love that. I hope all your dreams come true Trish. From a heart, that cares very much.

-David

( Posted by: moonrising36109 [Member] On: March 2, 2004 )

rock 'n howl!
I do like this, Trish. It snaps and crackles throughout. Only criticism I can think of is 'under the trees where no one will roam' a syllable too long for its rhyme line underneath, try taking out 'will' and saying 'roams'. Might help - I hope so.
Chihuahua
Paul the Ogg

( Posted by: ogg [Member] On: March 2, 2004 )

wounded
I got a feeling of a trauma to read your poems, and I liked them BECAUSE THEY ARE POEMS having poetic qualities.
Whatever may be the content, the fact lies in this profond sensibility to get a poem.
"cry to the moon
like a wolf in pain" -fantastic.
Still,I may dare to suggest you to keep parity in flow, this will give your poem completeness.

( Posted by: Myth [Member] On: July 10, 2004 )

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