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Seasonal embrace...
To everything there is a season...
...is probably one of the only lines I knew of poetry when I first found Lit in July 2004. Since then though, I have been swathed in the stuff and fallen in love with this addictive art and those that wield it.
Lit remains my 'first' and I cannot write without posting here - some sort of sentimentality blended with ritual I guess. I visit when posting and nose about, wander with memories and names that take me back to an incredible, memorable time that couldn't possibly be virtual - for me it is so visual.
Each here that I have known so well through their words - has a face, has a character, has a persona that I can feel - I know what you're wearing and can see where you write. It has been this tangible.
I find it hard though to throw myself back in here - not just a time thing or a muse thing or an any-thing I can put my finger on - just the wrong season maybe?
I don't know what it is, but maybe too it is that my 'relationship' with Lit is raw and tender sometimes. It was all so real and came about at a challenging time personally - maybe I don't want to re-visit some of the sensations?
I wanted to note this.
Namaste,
Tina Louise x
What a Bloody Week!!
Refreshed, revived, renewed. I had to come back tonight - there was desire in me to be here and I haven't a clue why - but I do love a mystery and always honour an un-explicable pull...wherever it leads.
What a week! Can't settle enough to go into detail - as I have no idea how I got from Wednesday to here - but it really has been a heck of a week.
*Giant sigh. I will wait till it all settles, but feel like I am in an autumn flurry of leaves falling all around. I quit my job (sheer madness as I really really need to maintain an income!! lol)...and yet, and yet...there is a 'knowing smile' about my lips that even I can't put my finger on. But I know that this week of contrasts has brought me somewhere new and that sometimes, you really have to hit the deepest to bounce the highest...at least I bloody well hope so!
What a bloody week!!
Namaste,
Tina Louise xx
A Bit Poorly...
The title of this little blog was said by Amelia (granddaughter) when she came with flowers for me today...I was in hospital yesterday and am told I have pneumonia - which is somewhat of a relief as the evening before I was sure a small group of aggressive dwarves had take up residence in my left lung and begun dismantling it with knives, also found myself looking up 'symptoms of a heart attack' at 3 in the morning just to be on the safe side - discovered I only had 3 out of 8 matching symptoms on heart attacks but 5 out of 8 for pneummonia....much better diagnosis. Had to fake healthy through the worst though as it was my mother's last day here and I wanted to get her on her way with nothing to worry about...once she boarded the plane home my sister and I got off to the hospital.
My own fault - despite a brilliant diet of healthy food...I have insisted on smoking - a vice I am very fond of. Had my last, mid research on heart attacks and pneumonia - so feeling bitchy already!! Will do it though as I fancy a damn long life.
Hospital let me opt for coming home as I insisted - just a course of ant-biotics and I will be fine in a couple of weeks....so may be a little absent from here till all mended.
*cough cough....going now to breathe lavender and try to find reasons to be happy about not smoking....I know there are some, just not in the bloody mood for them yet!!
Namaste,
Tina x
Anarchy - Freshly Bathed
This is the May issue of FROM WHERE I STAND that is published on RainTiger and in The Entertainer newspaper in Spain.
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During a news report on the BBC referring to the Brixton riots of 1981, a policeman who ...read more
I have a website...
I have just got my website live - as I work in the industry, the nice technical chaps gave me a hand and designed it all. www.tinalouise.co.uk is where I will put all my poetry - still uploading and it may take some time! Lit.org has changed my life - truly. Before encountering this site and being mused by poets, I had no idea what words could do - to Chris - a million thank yous for the gift of poetry and a place to play with it. I am lucky to be published most weekends on Counter Punch and after a feature on Rain Tiger, decided I might just take the opportunity of the exposure and get a website for readers to find 'the rest' of my words. This all sounds terribly vain and self-centered.......perhaps there is a deeper ego at play here? C'est la vie. Thanks for reading and sorry for the shameless self publicity!
Namaste
thanks to Gomar, Andy and Lit friends...
I just wanted to say thanks firstly to Gomar for recommending I look at a site called Rain Tiger some months ago and next, to the master editor, Andy Havens for a tweak to my first line of 'Hush' that made it far more effective....thank you. The reason I mention this is that I am featured on Rain Tiger with Hush this month in their 'Heart of a Poet' feature...thanks only to the help of the many lovely poets here at Lit. Without the comments of support since joining last July, I would never have realised I had a poet lurking in my soul. http://www.raintiger.com/poetrycafe/hoap/ ....and while I'm here, I miss Dareva, Claire and Carol (CJ), so if they are reading, come back soon.
Namaste
...anyone have a map?
Since joining Lit back in July 2004 and beginning this love affair with poetry, I have realised that my life must have always had a space that longed to be filled – it was, here at Lit. I have felt a warmth from others online that I don’t care to understand……simply swim in and appreciate; as well ...read more
Happy Holidays
I have had a glass or two of champagne to celebrate with my lovely colleagues here and realised how much I wish so many of you were 'real and fleshy' in the same room with me. Happy season of giving, warmth and remembrance of soul to some of my favourite people in my life - the writers. It has been a heck of a year with my daughter's unplanned pregnancy, my father's cancer and death and untold other occurences that should have floored me ....but your support here at Chris' phenomenal site has got me through, enriched me, inspired me, mused me and been my sanctuary in times of strife.
Although virtual, it has been my reality in times of confusion and doubt. My love, best wishes, hopes and dreams along with Namaste to all here at Lit - you have changed my life and I thank you. To William (CoKonspirator),Carol, Lucie, Williamhill, Alex, Claire, Nae, Jen, Jennifer, Chapter 1, Dar, Rogan, Sean, Bob, Mr. Furnish, Viper, Huni, Peter, Bea, GG, Demeter, Philo, RK, Ivor, Dan, Teflon, VFW, Kacee, Maclaren, Pen, Sage, Amy, Soos and too many more to write - I wish you all the joy and support you have given me. Merry Christmas. Namaste x
Dad Died...
My father died on Tuesday 9th November 2004 at 7:55am. I was by his side through a long night of agony - he suffered so. I am more sad than I can stand. I understand life's cycle yet find the absence of his laughter and smile so present. There is no poetry in this death. Back soon. Namaste
Update...
Just to let friends here know that Dad remains unwell, but coping much better mentally. We continue with treatment and I see no point in trying to presume anything beyond his present moment. My daughter Stephanie is due to have my first grandchild anytime within the next 2-3 weeks and is a picture of health. We have just organised her first home and she and Nathan (the sweet panic stricken dad-to-be) move in tomorrow.
I have no issues with this and am wondering why not. I adore my daughter yet feel an excitement at the escape for both of us into independence. Everyone keeps suggesting 'the empty nest syndrome' thing - maybe it will be different when it has been a few days, but for now I am content. I can't wait to see her fly in life without me. I will miss her companionship and the joy of having her near; but to begin the next phase of our relationship - as women, is a happy time too. Besides, the new home is only 15 minutes down the road, so not far when I need to be mummy or granny (eeek! still can't get my head round that word!) Nice to be back. Namaste
It has been wonderful...
It has been a while since I last submitted or commented (why did that sound like the start to confessional! LOL) due to family commitments, so I thought I would pop back to update and see how things are.
Hmmmm, so much has changed! I have to admit, that having got the general gist ...read more
life and death
My daughter and niece prepare for the births of their daughters while my father endures the agony and fear of cancer. Life x 2 and death x 1 are both laid out before me and I can dip into either camp and feel fully the intensity of the emotions of each. Yet; I find no clear truths to relay in my ...read more
smiling and remembering...
I have been really fortunate to have travelled and lived in lots of places. My mum was in the horse racing business and it was through her work that my childhood and teenage years took me to wonderful, new countries. A love that stays with me and moves me too often for my daughter’s sanity! When ...read more
On god/disclaimers/flies and me…
On god/disclaimers/flies and me…
Hi anybody who has popped by and stays to read – it is nice to know eyes will follow where my fingers have made trail. I thought I would write this blog to clarify who/what I am behind some of my words. This is no ego eager need for you to make nice ...read more
Re-Locating to Spain 2000
16 feet, five wheels and two fuel injected litres…yet it still took four days to reach Palma from the North of England ! ! !
All but one of those feet turned out to be nothing but useless accessories on the journey. Two belonging to my 14 year old daughter whose only contribution ...read more
hush the poets...
Even the poets were silenced; sent to the quiet corner to ponder the error of their ways. Their forthright voices hushed along with the brave, independent journalists, insiders and politicians who dared to notice untruths about the Iraq situation and mention them. This seems to be a time of ...read more
view from these eyes...
Conspiracy theories grow more like prediction and history as our atrocities in Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere continue to be gruesomely revealed. Many theories are of course peddled by complete lunatics with no connection to reality, but many are beginning to be revealed as possible. The internet ...read more
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tinalouise's Blog