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Monday 09th January, 2006
Heavy and Light
Whew. I need some air!!!
The past year has been fairly traumatic for me, with moments of joy as well.
I feel rather wounded and beaten down by the events of the last half of December. First our fire with its infant victims, then our officer getting shot and paralyzed. Add it to a long list of tragedy this past year, and I do feel like the emotional Mack truck has been running over me, then throwing it in reverse to make sure the job got done right!!
WIth all of this, my writing has been a bit heavy. A BIT I say, knowing that it is more than a bit heavy.
I need some air!!!!
I need lightness... feather lightness and frolicking--in my life, and especially, in my writing. I'm getting out all these deep and dark feelings of just being so wounded, and world-weary.... but truly, even with these things, I know and acknowledge I am so very blessed.

I met Martina McBride in October. Maybe I'll write something about that. It could only be comical.

My best friend is getting married in a month and 10 days-- I won't delve too deep into my feelings on that, it gets into the morose and self-pity (so nevy you mind about that!)

Anyway, I need some air!! I need to revel, to jaunt about, to find the little imp's that seem to take to hiding when the more treacherous demons take up residence in my head, and get them out and performing mischief. huh. That in itself might be a good thought to start with.

OooooKAY.. enough ramblings the whole world will know I'm nuts!!! :-)
9:32 PM | 1 comment | #


Tuesday 20th December, 2005
Who Helps part II
Just when you thought things couldn't get worse on this front..... on Dec 17, while I was working at about 430 am, a couple of my officers were responding on a homicide, got behind the suspect vehicle, and attempted a felony stop when the vehicle blew a tire and pulled over. The driver jumped out ...read more
7:23 AM | No Comments | #


Thursday 15th December, 2005
Who helps the helpers?
Whew. I don't know how many know what I do for a living, but I am a supervisor of a police department's communications center. In other words, I'm one of the voices of 9-1-1, and the police radio. So last night, we handled a trailer fire where mom came home to find her trailer fully engulfed, ...read more
9:07 AM | 2 comments | #


Friday 02nd December, 2005
Life changes
I have been contemplating how this past year or so has been about some huge life changes around me. It just hit me about 15 seconds ago that this is so.... let me 'splain:

1)My older sister became ill in November of 2003 with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease).... she was diagnosed in spring ...read more
9:27 AM | No Comments | #


Thursday 10th November, 2005
I'm back????
Dear Literary friends, my co-conspirators, fellow passengers in this barge we call "Writing".....
I hope I'm back. My inner voice tends to get drowned out by all the noise from without.
I'm also struggling a bit with some loss of anonynimity that I enjoyed here; in sharing the gift of this site, I suddenly found myself being read by someone who KNOWS ME (gasp! shock!).... so I had to decide how much of myself I care to lay open to the bone.... that one is still a hard one coming.

Anyway, I am dedicated to write SOMETHING. I've got stuff going on that I can write about, its more a question of taking time out to let it stew in my noggin' until something purty comes out.

:-) Happy writing all!
9:01 AM | 6 comments | #


Thursday 07th July, 2005
The ocean
I just have to say, I should have been born in California! I absolutely love the ocean. It removes almost instantly any stress I feel built up in my bones from weeks and months of living life.

But this trip, I saw something I did not expect. At first, I thought I was going to be ...read more
9:09 AM | No Comments | #


Wednesday 22nd June, 2005
Dry Spell
Wow. Its been a few days since I've written anything. I think I'm going through a dry spell. I have ideas rambling around in my head, I'm just not committed to putting them on paper. I really have an urge to write something uplifting and life-affirming after some of the dark stuff I've explored. Unfortunately, none of the ideas rambling around are of the lighter and life-affirming variety. Or maybe they are.... the writer in me seems to be on a little vacation.
Guess I need to do some reading. Or SOMETHING.
Okay, so that wasn't the most interesting blog entry in the world....
9:32 AM | No Comments | #


Thursday 09th June, 2005
Bloggity blog blog
Anyone ever write something, then read it later and be frightened by what you wrote? Almost as if the words take on a mind of their own and create something you did not intend?

Yup. I've done it before, just never publicly. But apparently I've created a monster in my own head, and now I let it escape via 'pen and quill' from time to time. I wrote a piece, not posted here, and now in reading it, I wonder where all the darkness and desperation comes from. Certainly not from inside me.....
Maybe I'm channeling (not really channeling, just creatively channeling) some of the pain and anger at the crimes and evils perpetuated on the world from my 'day job' (911 Operator). Its been 8 1/2 years and maybe I've developed a voice for the countless victims? or maybe I have an overactive imagination AND an overactive ego?

Thoughts on those ramblings?
11:31 AM | 3 comments | #


Wednesday 08th June, 2005
Thoughts in the middle of the dang night
Here's a thought I had while writing a lengthy comment on someone's work:
who the heck am I to be commenting on someone else's work?
I mean, I actually had the audacity to tell someone that they should have used the words they really wanted to use instead of trying to rhyme. How do I know that this author wanted to use other words? That's just the feeling I got from the piece, but I don't know. I really don't know. Then, I essentially apologized for assuming, if I was assuming, it wound up being this huge comment because I wanted to get my point across but didn't want to belittle this author's work, or intention, etc. if I was off base.

In another note, I found an author to WORSHIP (sorry, capital letter emphasis on words, apologies to those that annoys)--IcicleIcicle. Wow. Really liking her work.

The Red-Marble-Bloom poetry thread has been great fun!

All in all, I've been writing more and more, and I am absolutely LOVING it!
9:39 AM | 2 comments | #


Monday 23rd May, 2005
Is a date a dumb title? Too bad 5/23/05
Feeling a little feisty and a little... I don't know, something else. I'm a boss where I work, and one of the people I supervise is going through a huge ordeal with cancer. No one knows but she and I, and of course MY boss who demands (rightfully so) to be kept apprised of stuff like that. So I just gave my friend a few little presents to help her in her down time, and said goodbye to her for 8 weeks while she goes through major surgery and recovery. Then I came out to the main room, and had to act as though nothing is wrong. It makes me feel almost queasy to think of what she is going through, and I'm feeling not only powerless but really pissed off about being powerless. And yet at the same time, both of us have faith in God, and we are both Christians... so I'm a little ashamed of being pissed off. She, on the other hand, is dealing remarkably well. I guess its a sign of my youth (ha, ha) that she was comforting ME just a little there in my office, and she's the one going through hell right now. Anyway, its prompting me to think a little more inwardly and to wander around in my heart a little more right now..... lets see where that leads......
7:58 PM | No Comments | #


Friday 20th May, 2005
Confessions of a Closet Sci-fi Fan
I camped out in the line for the midnight showing of Star Wars: Episode III, Revenge of the Sith on Wednesday. The plan, a few weeks ago, was that I was going to tag along with a group of who I called "NERDS" (lovingly I might add)... they were going to camp out in line, and I was going to join ...read more
10:21 AM | 2 comments | #


Wednesday 18th May, 2005
Am I Bloggin?
I don't know if this is a blog or not..... But I'm looking for where blogs are born, and this is the only place I found.
SO on with it eh?
Tonight I did some deep thinking at the vending machine..... so my first 2 submissions come from random thoughts that I had while staring at that darn egg salad sandwich that I have seen in the machine for I don't know how long... I don't know if its always been the same one, but I'm not buying it and finding out :-) I did, however, buy a burrito. . . . lets hope IT hasn't been in there for very long.
I'm just getting started on this site, I'm trying to wake up the sleeping artiste that used to write obsessively, and so far, all I come up with is egg salad and burritos.......
11:51 AM | 2 comments | #





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